What are you thinking?

Silja, yes..people are crazy about making viruses... and about this coments is crazy, I want to be accept so much and I dont; want to be fat... the last time someone said that I look on 35kilos but I have 40... don't know what to do....

And I'm so sorry about so cold winter, we had +6 today
and good luck for you and your friend. I'm so proud that you support your friend

Krissy, how there winter in Canada????

Mimi <3

And I'll have 5 exams in weekend. I'm so scared. And I want to show you special article to me about bravery girl http://neoweltschmerz.buzznet.com/user/journal/17422308/bravery-girl-fighting-anorexia-inspiring/

btw, where are people???

oh, i'm in love <3
i'm happy like never before...<3

Well, This winter been VERY VERY VERY cold. Snow. Ice storms. Power out. Some ppl was out with no hydro for a week. So to sum it up this winter not been good

Good luck.

today i fell on bus my body is stupid rebel

^ poor baby <3

i am so annoyed!!!! so basically, there is this guy at work who asked me out and now his ex (who is also my supervisor) from 7!!!! years ago is giving me the evils and giving me the shittiest shifts ever. i dont know what to do because now the guy is being weird to me too and most importantly, I am NOT going to kill myself with this job. if she doesn't get over herself and the fact that her ex of 7 years might be interested in someone else then i will quit the job and i know that if i do that because of her, she will have a lot of people to answer to.

i HATE when women turn into psycho women. im sorry but it is not my fault when someone asks me out (AND WE NEVER DID GO OUT). so please, if you have an ex and they are with another person. DO NOT take your anger out on the other person. they don't deserve it. (unless they of course pursued the person when you two were together.)

ugh, rant over.

Drama at the cinema @.@ Is there another supervisor you can talk to about her behavior?

Poor natt.

wow. my goodness. What a bitch. That's not cool.

Lilee wrote:Drama at the cinema @.@ Is there another supervisor you can talk to about her behavior?

maybe im just naive or want to believe the best in people so I want to wait a few weeks and see if things get better.. maybe its just a really weird coincidence...
and i dont know how id feel about talking to someone else about this.. because if then they went to her and said everything ive said, it would be like i was talking behind her back which could make things even more complicated.
So if things havent gotten better in the next few weeks, i will speak directly to her and if still not I will talk to my manager and give in my weeks notice. I'm not going to kill myself with this job and i am definitely not gonna let someone bully me.

Thank you Mimi and Krissy

and Mimi, I'm so sorry about this situation. I hope that everything will be better for you, you don't deserve to be treated in this way. I think about you, send you love.

And I'm scared so much about exams.... but thanks my school I'm in love in this race of horses... beautiful :

Today's the info for the kickboxing course. I'm scared to go ;_; I hate going to new places full of people I don't know. Well, at least I'll have one friend with me... If she can make it.

I can understand that feeling,

Yeah :/ She did make it, regardless of her spouse being a dickhead... :DD He was supposed to drop her off at our place. I couldn't have gone alone. And now that I've been there once, and seen those people... I don't know what I was even scared of! Everyone was friendly, and one guy came to talk to us, and the instructor told us about the noob course at the end :D The people training were more advanced, and their training looked pretty intense. I'm sure it'll be easier for noobs. It starts next Tuesday! I hope my friend can make it then. Again xD She has a one-year-old girl, so it complicates her activities...

Glad people was friendly. Yeah when you have children them things happen.

I feel terrrible... today I had two exams.. from English I have 4 but from the second I'll have probably 1 :/ Our prof is not nice person and she did very hard exam.. wanna cry

I'm sorry to here that. Just try your best. Do the best you can.

*Double posted*


  

I'm really sorry to hear that, Natt. I hope you feel better about it, sending lots of love and hugs your way.


I sunk into a really deep "hole" of depression at the beginning of the week and I've just started to get myself out. Spent today with three of my really close, supportive friends and finally feel like I might be getting better. Depression's a really scary place...

Yeah, it sure must be.

Natt wrote:I feel terrrible... today I had two exams.. from English I have 4 but from the second I'll have probably 1 :/ Our prof is not nice person and she did very hard exam.. wanna cry :(

I read you passed the exams? I knew you could, you underestimate yourself <3 And you should never assume what result you'll have, it causes unnecessary stress. Always do your best, and the result will be good :)

ilumoonmarks wrote:I sunk into a really deep "hole" of depression at the beginning of the week and I've just started to get myself out. Spent today with three of my really close, supportive friends and finally feel like I might be getting better. Depression's a really scary place...

I'm happy you have supportive friends ^_^ It can take time, and even after feeling good for a while you might fall back, so don't be discouraged. You can do it!


This morning I had an idea... I could start doing tattoos. I'm surprised it has never even crossed my mind O.o Even though my mom makes them, dad has tattoos, I have tattoos, I have designed them for years and I love them... Never have I imagined of doing them myself! I mentioned my idea on FB, and I'd already have three customers :D

^ i wish i could draw!!!!!
i am thinking about a new tattoo too... hint hint

i need some advice~

my love is wanting more physical affection lately...and i'm not comfortable with some of the things he wants me to do...

i am starting to worry he is only wanting my body and not my spirit.

he tells me he loves me but i am unsure because we are so young and he is always pushing for me to do something perverted that i am not comfortable with yet..

i am worried if i tell him how i feel he will lose interest in me, please give me some advice, i really love him   

No matter who it is or how much you care about them, never let someone push you farther than you're willing to go. I know that telling him is going to be hard, especially with the thought that he may leave you because of your feelings towards what he's asked you to do, but if he does leave, you'll know why he loved you and what for. It'll seem like a REALLY tough decision and a really hard thing to do, but it'll be worth it in the end and it'll be better for you if you take control and let him know that he can't control you, sexually or otherwise.

agreed if he really loves you. he'll waite. if he doesn't hes not worth it

Hey!!!! Yes I agreed my exams!!!! Can't believe. In February I'll start the second semester but I'm scared because to be on third my health must be better..

ILU please, be strong we love you and we care about you <3

Silja, good luck

Mimi, tattoos are cool

Up say what you feel as Krissy said

I hope nothing bad happends during the winter Olympics: In Russia.

That's great for you.

UpUpUp wrote:i need some advice~

my love is wanting more physical affection lately...and i'm not comfortable with some of the things he wants me to do...

i am starting to worry he is only wanting my body and not my spirit.

he tells me he loves me but i am unsure because we are so young and he is always pushing for me to do something perverted that i am not comfortable with yet..

i am worried if i tell him how i feel he will lose interest in me, please give me some advice, i really love him   

I agree with what everyone has said already.
I know from my own experience, my first boyfriend would make me wait until I was 100% sure that it was what I wanted (the physical side of our relationship). He was 5 years older than me and I really admire him for doing it because I think it really shows how much he cared about me.

Nobody who really really loves you will force you to do something you're not comfortable with. and i know that as a teenager your world ends when your crush/ boyfriend doesn't give you the attention but its really not the end of the world. there is someone out there who will treat you as if you put the moon and the stars in the sky.

Thank you everyone for the advice <3

I had a talk with him about it and he was very understanding..I hope it stays that way ^^

That's good.

I'm happy he was understanding, Up♥Up♥Up <3


I had a busy day D: First I had the kettlebell class, then went grocery shopping with JP, and then I had to hurry to the kickboxing class... It was quite fun, we ran around the mattress, did some burpees and pushups, and went over some basics. I noticed I'm INCREDIBLY SLOW AND BAD WITH MY FOOTWORK. No wonder I can't dance xD

the first snoowwwwwwwwwwwww

aww I'm so worried about Ukraine.. from the last months I watching what happening there and now 2 persons were shooted by police...media say that Ukraine is close to home war...... Ukraina needs to be with Europe....

I already sent Mimi a pm but I feel like I owe an apoligy to everyone else aswell so here goes.

I havent been on for a while and I didnt send in my card thing because my life suddenly got really busy and I couldnt find the time or energy to work on it anymore. so instead of saying so right away I waited untill it was too late and I hid because I felt ashamed for dissapearing instead of telling everyone.

so I'm really sorry. :/ I feel really bad about waiting this long.

Hey Honey, I'm so happy that you are back, and don't feel bad that you wasn't here. Don;t worry. We understand you. I can share you that by some time also I wasn't here but we are family and I understand you. I'm so happy to see you!!!!

I've sent you a message back, Mari!

But I have already thought of a plan with all the cards that didn't make it in time. If you want to keep working on it for another year, do it and send it to me and we will send Kerli an 'extension' pack next year to add with the old cards!

SERIOUSLY, I'm SICK OF WINTER. SICK OF SNOW & THE COLD. I'm waiting for spring & Summer to come. My kind of weather. I would rather be hot then freezing to death! I hope we have a early spring.  

I've yet to have snow :/ bought winter boots that matches my boyfriend's boots but yeah.. no luck.

thank you so much guys <3

Oh wow. Well mine got good use this year!

it's -20 in Estonia now too and they have proper snow.
and it's about +9 degrees and rain in London, typical

got such a busy day ahead. I am determined to get along with my dissertation. I spent yesterday doing some epic organisation of my notes and planned half of my literature review so i'm going to crack on with that before i need to head off to town and get some essentials and then im going to a theatre show in the evening with some of my favourite people <3

have a good day, guys!

Oh wow! That sounds cold.

Have a nice day everyone

-5'C here, ridiculous... Last week was -26'C, it was so awesome. Everyone else was dying, of course, but I was happy. Now, with this -5'C, there's WIND. There's no wind when it's really cold. Doggammit.

I wonder why the backs of my knees get so stiff easily... I don't think I've overstretched them, either. Or maybe I have. Dunno :/ I hope they heal before Sunday; we have another kickboxing class then :o

Trying to design a tattoo for myself... We can talk about your next one as well if you want me to design it, mimi ;)

I would like to have a tattoo but I'm not gonna do it any time soon.

It's exam's weeks and all I do is studying.

Please don't read the following if you're in a good mood.

Spoiler:

ilumoonmarks wrote:Please don't read the following if you're in a good mood.

Spoiler:

I kind of know how you feel. Some times I feel the same why you do. I feel like nobody understands at times. * Hugs*   The cutting thing I don't do because I know it wouldn't help or make things better. It would just cause more pain. Whenever I feel like this listen to music. If you need to talk im here. I hope you feel better soon and things get better. Just keep your head up high. stay positive. Okay when I was in my early 20s I did cut myself a few times. But I don't anymore. I think I did it partly for attention.

Yes! The wind does make things colder.

Giant post alert.

ilumoonmarks wrote:Please don't read the following if you're in a good mood.

Spoiler:

well... I've been through exactly(well not exactly but close..) what you're saying right there and I'm actually getting passed it.
you have to understand that things never stay the way they were, unless you keep it that way. alot of times when experiencing this kind of thing it's very easy to get stuck and to blame everything and everyone around you but that's not going to make you feel better.(not assuming anything btw)
what you can do is make a change for yourself, any change, you cant immediatly make any big changes but the smaller ones tend to help little by little.
if you feel like you're stuck [cliché alert] find professional help. like a psychologist or whatever you can get. it may be cliché advice but every cliché has truth.

as for your friend, if she feels the same way about you being her best friend I doubt she's feeling any better about this than you do.

at one point I was tired of waiting around being stuck and hoping for something to come my way. in the end it's you that has to make a step and trust me, it feels damn good to make that step.

another thing is realizing you're not alone. so many people have problems and so many people are feeling sad. so many people you can relate to and who can relate to you (:

I actually had a few classes of meditating and self awareness.. and manifesting. that was really cool, you should look those things up sometime (: it brought me alot of peace in turbulent times.

anyway I hope you're gonna feel better soon.

-----

My own update:

this week I dont feel like I've been taken very seriously. the doctor didnt want to see me because he knew everything already and sent his assistant to send me home with a doctor's advice for a numb foot. -_-
then when I'm happy to have gotten a balloon from a good cause (respect among kids and teens against bullying and sexual abuse. it's run by a few paid workers and largely by volunteers and I think it's amazing) I get called a slave of society and believing everything they tell me being bad blablabla(by my dad no less)
people walking away in the middle of my sentence.
and mr. boyfriend who doesnt show up on skype like he said he would without sending me a message, or responding to my texts. he's going to be here tonight so I'm kicking his ass for that one because this kind of thing is happening too many times.

BUT ON THE WHOLE
I've actually been doing really well lately. I'm still on the road to recovery and it's still moving slow but lately I've been doing this course that helps me re activate socially and to get rythm back into my life through a motivation method. in this case it's art. and they're basically training me and the group towards a job and then they give the group a workshop on thursdays. yesterday we painted self portraits in our own image. it was awesome.
and it's AMAZING! the group I'm with are very diverse and different from eachother but they're so amazing and open and unique and talented. they could easily be moonchildren <3 we all relate to eachother and we're there for the same reason. they even accepted and appreciate my annoying habit of crying alot.
they make me so happy. and I;m so happy to have new friends now to <3

like the meditation thingy's I mentioned there was run by one of my groupmates. and the painting workshop was also done by a girl of the group. she's crazy good at it.
but yeah getting closer and closer to getting a job. scared but excited.

it makes me really happy, guys, that you still feel like this is the place where you can share anything. makes it all worth while <3

and it is true that good things come to those who wait. so hang in there, there is light in the end of the tunnel!

so... my boyfriend broke up with me last night..

Nocturn, I;m so sorry. Send you hugs