What are you thinking?

oh dear :/ sorry to hear that

sorry to here that.

It's was very windy last night. You could here the wind. We are or some place is suspose to get 10 CDS of snow. Ew.

I'm a real mess.
I got to sleep over at a friend's so the first night was okay but my head is still spinning around it and I dont want to accept that it's over.
he was the one I wanted to stay with and built a life with.
I know people will say 7 months in is too short a time to be sure about that but when you feel like he's the one and he's the best boyfriend you've ever had who's hard working and understanding towards your very frequent craziness then no I dont think 7 months is too short to know what I wanted with him.
I just cant wrap my head around it.
the idea of him with another woman is very painful aswell, as I know that someday I will be confronted with him finding someone else.
I just don't know what to do right now.

 aww. I'm sure you'll get threw this. I'm sorry about your break up/

i'm sorry about your breakup, i hope everything gets better for you soon x

i'm so tired. we've had so many tests at school and art is really weighing me down! i hardly have time to myself anymore and it's ruining my mood:(
and to make things even better, my dad's girlfriend is turning out to be something different. i'm always polite to her but my dad told me the other day she says some really bitchy and nasty things about me behind my back for no reason. i don't know what to think about her now...:/

You should try telling your dad about how she makes you feel. Or tell her it hurts your feelings. That's not nice of her

MoonChildEve wrote:i'm so tired. we've had so many tests at school and art is really weighing me down! i hardly have time to myself anymore and it's ruining my mood:(
and to make things even better, my dad's girlfriend is turning out to be something different. i'm always polite to her but my dad told me the other day she says some really bitchy and nasty things about me behind my back for no reason. i don't know what to think about her now...:/

School will be over soon :) Maybe you could reserve a half an hour or an hour every day for yourself, when you can do what you want?
And sounds like she's trying to "smoke" you out; it's common among women who are jealous of their man. Even if the "other woman" is the man's own daughter. It's really fucked up, if you ask me! Stupid subconscious animal behavior. How long have they been together? If it's a fairly new relationship, she could still be in that "rose red" phase and calm down later... Maybe just... try and continue being polite to her, show her you're not a "threat". Good thing your dad came to talk to you, and not automatically pick sides with her! If she continues to be bitchy, you and your dad are better than that. Then you two dump her xD


My leg doesn't really straighten well still, but I think I know what's causing this stiffness... I think I don't stretch enough after working out. And sometimes stretch too much; I'm gonna have to be mindful of what I'm doing. This is a pain in the ass, I didn't have problems like this before :/

My dad sent me money for the kickboxing classes! I said: "thanks to you, soon I'll know how to beat people up!" and he said "make sure you beat them up real good ;D" xD

Today. Finally a little less cold outside.  Still no spring but yeah

I have just watched Estonian music awards. She was nominated for the best pop album and for the best female artist, but she didn't win any of them
She performed Zero Gravity, Army Of Love and Love Me Or Leave Me.
The show was amazing. I didn't hear ZG, I hated AOL because her voice was weird (auto-tuned, pre-recorded, whatever) and I liked LMOLM a lot.

It looks like a lot has happened since I've last got on. I don't really feel like I have good words of advice to contribute to those of you going through hard times that haven't already been mentioned, but I'm sending positive thoughts your way and I'm so glad that you guys shared with us what's going on in your lives.

I've been insanely busy lately. Between classes, the 2nf job I just picked up, and internship hours, I feel so exhausted. In a way I'm glad because I like keeping busy and this is my last semester as an undergraduate! I can't believe I'll have a degree by summer. At the same time though I'm stressing hard because I wish I had more me-time. There's still so much word I want to do with myself with my own interests and spirituality. I wish I had time for it all.

I didn't really enjoy her I don't really like her performance in this. It was okay but yeah.

I didn't see show right now but I love the photos and Kerli outfit!!!!

I'm totally tired

So...

I've gotten better and worse at the same time. Figures.

The friend I was having issues with pretty much told me on Monday that there's no one in this world that would ever waste their time to spend time with me. So that sucked, BUT

It was then that I realized that if I had a friend that was going to treat me like that, I didn't need to go after them, trying to make our friendship work again. It's been hard, but I think that it'll be good in the long run to take a break and to use my time on more important things, SO

I've been spending my time with three of the most awesome people in the world that make me feel SO loved and cared for. My depression plummeted this past weekend, but a friend of mine talked me through what was going on - in reality and in my mind - and got me back on my feet, SO

I've been plowing through everything I need to do over the next five months before I graduate high school. It's terrifying yet exciting at the same time. I think I'm going to miss it, but I think it'll be good for me as well as my mental health to not have to deal with high school dramas anymore, AND

A friend and I are planning a trip to Estonia next year. We went on a school trip to Vienna and Prague late November/early December and discovered we really like travelling together, so if we get enough money saved up, looks like we'll be going. We're also trying to convince our other two "besties" to join, so we'll see how that goes

In the end, I'm feeling much better, I've just been emotionally exhausted lately. I had an idea that I started a while ago, but stopped due to being busy that I probably should have continued regardless. A few months ago, I started writing a memoir - not to be published or anything, but because it's a good "self-therapy" to go through, because it's helped me look back on everything that's happened in my life and pinpoint what I need to work on, mentally and spiritually. It's a process, but I started it up again, and it's helping a lot.

Happy Friday all of you wonderful, beautiful, incredible, extraordinary, ect., MoonChildren!

You can see it on Youtube/

That EMA performance somehow activated me and i figured that i haven't been here in a while.
Hello

So, Kerli can't perform the original versions of the Utopia songs now that she has changed labels?

ilumoonmarks, other than what happened with that "friend" it sounds like a lot is going well for you. It's great that you're feeling better. Actually, reading your post actually made me feel better myself just because I think it's really cool to hear about how people bounce back after hard times. I hope everything keeps going well for you.

EetuJaKeijut wrote:That EMA performance somehow activated me and i figured that i haven't been here in a while.
Hello

So, Kerli can't perform the original versions of the Utopia songs now that she has changed labels?

Hey there

I think that's just for EMA's sake.
I can imagine how she'd like to go all out on something like the music awards in her beloved country :DI like how it's something different. and the performance was amazing


besides that I'm feeling better I suppose.
been doing alot of crying and alot of gaming.
my friends are amazing, and I love them.
I'm on my way to acceptance that he just doesnt love me anymore like he used to.
it's over. and all I can do is look forward and get passed this.

Hello Eetu, I missed you <3

ENEEE!!!! I'VE MISSED YOU <3!!!

I am not sure what to think of the performance.. I kind of liked it, I kind of didn't. but i think I liked it more than disliked it I do think it was pre-recorded though.. especially zero gravity and aol because if you listen back to other live shows, you can definitely hear the difference in her voice..

i've been so busy this week and haven't had the chance to post off any of the moonchild cards but i will be doing that on Monday. so hopefully Kerli will get the cards right after her birthday as I dont think they will get to her on the day. I will ask her to make a little video or something so that everybody who participated could see that she's gotten them

I want to like the performance. But I just don't really. It. I didn't like the background music for AOL & ZG.

I can't wait to this moment when Kerli will received gift.

I'm not ok:/

Oh! Why Not!?

I can't wait for it either! She'll be over the moon, literally <3

I felt like crap yesterday, old thoughts swirling in my head and I felt like a bad girlfriend and a stupid human being...
Today's been a bit better; the fact that my legs are almost working is very relieving. I can join the training tomorrow, and I can pay for the course.
Dunno, sometimes I just feel stuck.

Natt wrote:I can't wait to this moment when Kerli will received gift.

I'm not ok:/

Anything I can do to help???


And Forace; I hope you're feeling better soon, sending lots of love your way <3

i might be suspended from work for awhile because of an incident that happened yesterday.. its such a long story but long story short - there was a man who used mind tricks on me to con £50 out of my till and he succeeded. when i had to give a statement of what happened, it just seemed SO impossible to have happened to me.. my statement was read back to me and i just thought to myself, HOW on earth did i not notice what he was doing???? but i guess that's how manipulating works. you don't realise you're being mind fucked. i hate the fact that it happened to me but i guess somebody had to be the unlucky person and there is a good lesson in this for everyone..

so yess... yesterday sucked major balls and i still have an 8 hour shift today i can't wait for a day off! TOMORROW!

I'm so sorry that happened Mimi! You don't usually think about it, but there are people who pull tricks like that. I don't think you should feel bad, it wasn't your fault. Where I work we get robbed all the time, and it makes me feel bad that I have to be more suspicious of people...but sometimes you sort of have to. Not everyone is honest sadly.

I'm sorry to here about that. Wow that's not good.

We got hit with more snow.

Hope your feeling better Forace

Lilee wrote:I'm so sorry that happened Mimi! You don't usually think about it, but there are people who pull tricks like that. I don't think you should feel bad, it wasn't your fault. Where I work we get robbed all the time, and it makes me feel bad that I have to be more suspicious of people...but sometimes you sort of have to. Not everyone is honest sadly.

Thanks, I'm feeling much better now! I was a bit shaky when i started my shift yesterday but after the 10th customer i was feeling like myself again.
i also found out that i wasn't the only one it happened to :S he managed to cheat a colleague of mine too so it just shows that it didnt happen because i was incompetent but because he is a very good con artist. he better be feeding his 6 starving children with this money... because karma is a bitch!

Mimi I'm so sorry, people are really awful. I hope that will be better.

And thanks everyone, I try fight

 happy Tuesday.

I got a phone call from my mum yesterday and said that my dog died

we have this saying in Estonia that bad things come in 3.. so I am waiting for the 3rd thing and get this fucking thing over and done with.

I'M sorry about your dog. I know how it feels to lose a pet.

I'm sorry for your loss, Mimi. I hope that third negative thing doesn't happen for you. It sounds like a stressful week

I have an interview today to volunteer to help older adults in hospice care and help their families through it. I'm really excited because I would love to help out this population going through this difficult time and it would really give me experience as a counselor.

In my positive psychology class we talked about buying experiences rather than buying things. I've definitely bought a lot of random crap lately... now I'm thinking that I would really love to spend some money on something I can learn. I've been thinking about taking a Reiki class

Good luck!

this week has been really horrible :/ but i guess i will appreciate good times so much more when i come through this.
its the kind of week where i want to be curled up in a ball and be with my own thoughts..

BUT I AM POWERING THROUGH.

This week's almost over, Mimi. You can do it!

It was -22 degrees C today. I am so ready for spring. I'm getting so tired of having to worry about icy roads or having a freezing walk to school -_-

I'm having an 18 hour work day today because my work fucked up my rota again and i've had an 8 hour day in university.. awesome.
if they do the same next week i'm just going to do a no show. im always super responsible etc but they are just taking the piss now. im not a machine.

So they gave you a 10 hour shift, plus you had 8 hours at uni? That's crazy. Do you work full time or part time?

wow. That's crazy.\\\\

Have a fab weekend guy's

Lilee wrote:So they gave you a 10 hour shift, plus you had 8 hours at uni? That's crazy. Do you work full time or part time?

it actually stretched into a longer shift because we ended up finishing at 2.30 (instead of 1 am) am so i got home around 3 am because i took a taxi and now im dressed, pumping up on coffee because i have an 8 hour shift today.

i am supposed to work part time.. which i have told them from the start but they dont seem to be very understanding.. i am shattered after yesterday and to think i potentially have to do it again next friday... i am going to let them know that i wont be turning up for my shifts if things dont change.. and if they feel the need to fire me, then so be it.

@Mimi- I don't blame you. I'm not sure what part time is considered to be where you live, but any shift over 8 hours does NOT seem like part time. I'm surprised they're even allowed to do that. Did they even pay you over time or for the taxi? I hope things get better for you Mimi, a schedule like that is just ridiculous =/

And on a lighter note, did anyone watch the opening ceremony for the Olympics?

No. But I just want to see Canada march in. I missed it. I did see. USA, Sweden and Estonia.

Go Canada!!

I'm at my volunteer orientation to work with hospice care and I'm so excited for it. The people I've met are so open, caring, and magical. Everyone here is so full of compassion for others. And I'm able to openly talk with them about magic and all the different ways of healing. They do aromatherapy, reiki, art and music therapy, and so much more. I love the holistic care and it's so amazing to see all the care they're putting in for these people in their last stage of life. I can't wait to be a part of this <3

mimi wrote:

Lilee wrote:So they gave you a 10 hour shift, plus you had 8 hours at uni? That's crazy. Do you work full time or part time?

it actually stretched into a longer shift because we ended up finishing at 2.30 (instead of 1 am) am so i got home around 3 am because i took a taxi and now im dressed, pumping up on coffee because i have an 8 hour shift today.

i am supposed to work part time.. which i have told them from the start but they dont seem to be very understanding.. i am shattered after yesterday and to think i potentially have to do it again next friday... i am going to let them know that i wont be turning up for my shifts if things dont change.. and if they feel the need to fire me, then so be it.

This sounds like a thing that should be illegal... I'm pretty sure that's illegal here, anyway? Someone's ass obviously requires a kicking.

@Krissy- Canada looked great. They wore red and their signature mittens with the maple leaf of them. They really stood out and they looked so happy and excited. Funny to see the cultural differences of how the countries marched. Some of the countries were so serious, and others like Venezuela were dancing around xD

Lilee wrote:@Krissy- Canada looked great. They wore red and their signature mittens with the maple leaf of them. They really stood out and they looked so happy and excited. Funny to see the cultural differences of how the countries marched. Some of the countries were so serious, and others like Venezuela were dancing around xD

Yeah it is, I like the outfits they had. I'M kind of surprised America didn't have nicer outfits. They usually have real good ones. This ones looked tacky to me. But one time Canada had real ugly ones too. No offence. Yeah you are right about that. Some countries did look to serious.

*Yay* Canada. .

We won. 1 gold, 1silver and 1 bronze today

They pay like 3/4 of the taxi and the rest comes out of my pay. the job is getting to me and as much as i love the people i work with, i feel like i have to quit soon.. for my health and sanity.

i havent had a chance to watch any of the olympics but ive seen the pictures of the toilets does anyone know what im talking about haha?

Stargirl, im so happy for you! you go girl!

Not watching the Olympics... We don't watch TV :P I'm not that interested in sports anyway. But I do enjoy watching curling O.o And snooker/billiard.

Our sleeping pattern has gone down the crapper xD Wake up in the afternoon, go to bed in the morning...

Oh yeah, thank you for the well-wishes, I am feeling better now <3 I'm actually doing some progress with my schoolwork, and I'm feeling artistic again... Today I even baked "brownies"; I haven't baked anything in ages.

Legs aren't still 100%, but at least I don't have to be that careful about bending them. The backs of my knees do tend to break from weirdest things. Last night I broke the right one when getting into bed O.o I guess I plopped or twisted it somehow, the sharp pain lasted the whole next day.

Moar kickboxing in the evening! ^_^

ugh the year of the horse.. yeah we all got on the horse and fell on our asses.