Today my life begins. ♥

Hiya! So I've decided that this website could be a huge help to me emotionally and whatnot. So I'm gonna post daily on this blog whether people read it or not just so that I have something to vent to and hopefully entertain people with my random poems/stories/life changing moments. Today I went back to school for the first time since I've had the surgery on my wisdom teeth. And now I'm waiting to go to the doctors next week because for some reason I have intense pain after I eat so I'm always really weak. Buttt I can't miss anymore school so I'm making myself go XD Any who I have a ton of homework to get caught up on so I'll just leave my "pretend college acceptance essay" here from an english class assignment for you guys to read

For some people it takes a life changing event to change the way they think. Others don't even change how they think at all and act like its just another part of life and move on. I didn't have a huge life changing moment, just a small thing that turned into a much bigger one. I was just a typical teenager listening to music when I stumbled upon a song called "Right where it belongs" by a band named Nine Inch Nails.

Right away the lyrics grasped my attention. "See the animal in his cage that you built", "Better not look to closely in the eye", and finally asking "Are you sure what side of the glass you really are?" Those lyrics and many more like it made me question myself and who I really was. It made me look deeper into myself and ask questions. Questions like who really am I? What exactly do I want out of my life? Am I proud of who I am? Last but not least the question that hit me the hardest, Do I like who i have become?

At that moment, I realized that I hated who I was and what I thought of this world. It took me a long time to become who I wanted to be and honestly, I am happier now then I was then. It amazed me that all of those years of my life were wasted because I never really knew who I was on the inside. That's how I also found out what that one thing I wanted to do in life is. What is that one thing? I want to change on persons entire world by telling them to question who they are and what they really want for themselves. So tell me reader, If you look at your body and souls reflection, is it all you want it to be?

Essence if I will be here I will be read your blog. Writing what we feel often help in ours problems.

You wrote about music in your life. Yes listen to music very help.. this is good antidote... sometimes music says what we feel... I think that for propably every person music is important in life..

Music is a huge part of my life. Everyday you can see some sort of headphones near me or in my ears at all points of the day because i just have to have my music on me at all times. Its the only thing that stays there and never leaves you. So i put so much of myself into it.

yes, music create ours souls.. I think that music says so much about people, about world and is awesome inspiration to life

It deff says a lot about a person. I would give my opinion and examples but I don't want to offend anyone or start debates XD

♥

ok, this is ur decision

So its been awhile since i have been on here. If i have any grammar/spelling mistakes bear with me due to the fact im pulling an all nighter XD I've found out that i have a kidney infection due to my grandparents not wanting to take me into the doctors and im currently taking a ton of antibiotics. Today was the first day ive felt better in a lonnggg time so i went to a sleepover or whatever you would like to call it at my best friends house. I'm prolly going to head to bed. But ill update more later today

Kindney infection!? Thats not good.....Do you drink water on a regular basis? That will really help you. I hope you get better soon I/L/U

Yeah I drink tons of water. Thats all i could drink without having intense stabbing pains BUT now i can drink cranberry juice so its like heaven ^_^

Honey, I hope that will be better.

ugh thats horrible! and it hurts like fu** but im happy you're feeling better!

are you feeling better? sending you positive energy and love!!!

Im feeling tons better! I've been eating sooo much! I've never truly appreciated food like i do now XD I've been less stressed too which is really nice.
I just found out that my high school screwed me over though and even though Ive been going for four years i only have about one and a half years of credit. So my councilor ended up telling me that i should just drop out and get my GED and go directly into college so that i can get started on my life So as of right now im job hunting and getting a head start on life stuff.
Also, i never told you guys but me and my boyfriend have been having a horrible time and a ton of crap went down over the past month but we worked through it and climbed that bitch of a mountain in our road of life and i couldnt be anymore in love with him.
For once in my life i actually feel like every things going to be perfectly okay.

this is sooooo positive I am glad everything is so good

Hello (: Answering the question...
I'm happy with who I am. I accept myself and love myself, but was not always so. It was a difficult and painful process in which I had to say goodbye to old vices as stupid prejudices and appearance. I was a terrible thing because I was thinking about terrible things.
But you know what? I do not regret anything. Do not hate my past. Absolutely everything that happened to me so that helped me become who I am today. I believe this applies to all people.
Urgh, remedies are a shit, something that invades and alters the natural functioning of the body... I dunno... But if really need, have to accept.
Essence, it's amazing that you are feeling well and living love. If your heart is doing well, your body will probably follow suit. I hope this happens soon

awww wisdom teeth xD i hella want mine to grow... everyone i know is getting theirs pulled and i feel left out

to answer the question... I dont like who I am, but im searching and building

lol me too

i like who i am now but im still slowly finding more of myself

To everyone who has answered the questions you are amazing. I've asked everyone around me the same question and showed them the same thing i wrote above and everyone just says "Your a good writer" or "You have a good point" Not one person has answer the questions. So as of now i love every single person on this thread ♥

Also, im going to start posting a random fact at the end of each blog everyday so that people will know more random stuff about me XD

Random fact: I adore sunflower seeds, even if they make my lips/tongue go numb from eating too many XD

Well, im sick and its uncurable so my doctors are trying to figure out what it is. Also my computer broke so i hardly have internet access. Butttt im pushing on through so I'll try to pop on once in awhile. Lifes really just testing me right now..

Random fact: I am allergic to milk

Aww hope you get better.

Milk? Really?

Thank you And yes, im allergic to dairy products XD

Tehe that makes being a vegan a lot easier xD
I can't drink energy drinks, not that I am allergic but it's lethal to me

Sad :/ Get better soon <3

get well soon!

Thank you all for the get wells That means a lot ^_^
Sadly im not getting any better. And to make it worse i have a huge project to do so i cant go into the doctors any time soon >.<

Claudia my best friend is exactly like that xD Except shes got adhd and shes epileptic so she cant really have any caffinne or else shes screwed XD


Random fact: I make other peoples problems my problems way too much. And it gets me into trouble. Aka, i care too much XD

>.< wow, for me I'll suffer a heart attack

I hope that will be better....
I send you love and light
Take care about yourself, please

Find me in a picture

Liisu, you look so beautiful this is ur sister?

OMG OMG OMG OMG My boyfriend proposed to me last night!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!
:DDDDDDD

Congradulations!

awwww CONGRATULATIONS, HONEY!!!!!

Thank youuuuu ^____^
Im so damn excited lol the night after the proposal his ex girlfriend tried to mess things up and i threw it in her face that unlike her i work out my problems with him hence why me and HIM are together instead of HER and him. I just hope everything goes a bit more smoothly from here >.< Ive got my dress picked out already though! I've had the same dress in mind for my wedding since i was 7 years old XD
My computer is broken BUT my family is going on vacation so i get to use my grandmas computer for the time being
Ill get to be on more! Yaaay!!

Random fact: I was raised in an abusive household. So because of that im basically the housewife any man can dream up because i love cleaning and cooking because i was pretty much Cinderella all my life WOO!

EEK! Its storming like crazy where im at. I feel so bad for japan D: I hope everyones gonna be okay.
♥

GAH! Lifes so difficult! I dropped out of school and I am currently in the process of getting my GED and getting a full time job so that my fiance wont be homeless. And im really hating the house im staying at. BLEH.

Random fact: Middle school drama is just a bunch of preteens on their periods. High school drama is just a bunch of teenagers on their period. Real life drama is just a bunch of rich people making shit hard on us poor people.

You're right. Your words "random fact" this is true about all world

Well, my high school prom is coming up. Im able to go since im enrolled in the GED program but we have to figure out how to get my man to go with too. We dont have money for a tux, and he got a lot of his crap stolen and so now hes not able to graduate high school. Lifes just basically a mess right now. I cant get a job cause i cant drive. And i cant drive because we have no money for gas. The only way im getting money is by donating plasma from my blood twice a week to get 100 bucks a week. Im friggin getting sick of this stupid shit..but i guess i have to tough it out. Sigh..

Random fact: I am obsessed with Hello Kitty. My fiances mom bought me a 3 foot tall hello kitty a year or so ago from a yard sale and its such a hassle to try and find a place to put it XD

BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!!
im so fucking proud to be american right now!
FUCK YESH

Congrats...and I hope things look up.

thank you

Me and my man figured things out so that we are going to be moving to portland after he graduates high school. And thats in about a month. Which means i need to get my licence and a car in a month. I have NO idea how imma do it but i have to some how. I also realized i dont have any friends on this thing lol xD

Random fact: I friggin suck at making french toast >:[ And yes, im attempting to make some while im running here and typing xD

LOL. There's your prob. Sometimes when I'm cooking I get distracted and sure enough I end up burning whatever it is. Focus, woman!

xD Im tryingggg. Im not burning them, they are just sticking to the stupid pan. Im close to just making regular toast and just eating the sausages some other time >.<

So life is basically falling apart and im holding on the the cracks that are still intact. Im at lost for any sort of words to explain what im feeling right now..

I give up.

My guy cant stop talking to his goddamn ex for some reason, he flirts a shit ton, and now i have an std and hes the only guy ive fucked and according to him hes only fucked me and his ex and his ex was a damn virgin. Pretty shitty way to find out that ive been cheated on. OH! And get this! He made a fake person on facebook to talk to his ex and flirt with her sister and do whatever else. His reasoning? "I wanted to get back at her for ruining us the first two times"
I cant work because im too sick, my damn doctor isnt helping me at all. So im broke and relying on him to keep a roof over my head.
Im fucking stuck and hurt.

Also, is your signature a my chemical romance reference?

The same thing happened to me w/ my ex. I got an STD (luckily a treatable one) and he still tries to deny it to this day that he didn't cheat on me even though he's the only person that it could have been.
My opinion, dump his ass and find yourself someone who doesn't go and pass that shit on to you. Ugh...it makes me so angry...I remember how fucking humiliated I was.

MissTJ wrote:The same thing happened to me w/ my ex. I got an STD (luckily a treatable one) and he still tries to deny it to this day that he didn't cheat on me even though he's the only person that it could have been.
My opinion, dump his ass and find yourself someone who doesn't go and pass that shit on to you. Ugh...it makes me so angry...I remember how fucking humiliated I was.

I know how you feel with the humiliated part. I was so careful cause I didn't want to be that whore that has STDs so I never fucked anyone until I thought it was the right guy. Now I feel so damn gross.







"Geez, what a douche. You're worth someone better that him, I can assure you!!
and with the sick/doctor thing, I sorta know what you mean. My sister is also sick and she's had to wait for almost a year to get a meting with a doctor. It's absolute shit!
Do you have a friend or someone else you can move in with instead? "

Sadly I cant move in with any friends. High school just got done so everyone is moving away to college. I love him and I want to stay with him and people call me stupid for it all the time. Like only a few people even know what has gone on with me and him because I don't want people to think hes a bad guy =/ I just don't know what the fuck to do. He said he'll take a lie detectors test and I gave him a year to come up with the money to do it. And if he doesn't get it before the years up I'm handing back the ring and leaving. I'm sick of being hurt constantly and hes the only guy whos been able to hurt me like that. UGH.



"haha yes, I went to their concert a few months ago, and they kept screaming "keep running" It just stuck :p[/quote]"

Awhh lucky you >:l Their my favorite band. >.<