Natt sends you love<3

I'm sorry Natt, I really really really really really hope you'll feel better soon! You don't deserve this sadness you carry, no one does. I wish it were as easy for you as to just drop it, like a stone from your chest, and your heart. I felt like that when I was more depressed, like I was carrying this big, dark lump that weighed many many kilos. The lump has gotten smaller over the years, and easier to carry.

So please, stay strong, and go for your dreams. No one's dreams are stupid! It's all about what you want to do, what you feel like most happy doing. Kerli was a little girl from a country no one's really heard of, and she wanted to be a singer. She fought for her dream, and look where she is now! The same can happen to you, just don't give up :>

My dream is to have a job at some big(ish) game studio, and to have a nice house. It all seems rather silly right now, because I'm stuck in this... laziness :/

May I ask, when is your birthday?

Biiiiiig hugs! You know I love you :)

Krissy but I know my life... and all isn't only for US

Forace I don't believe that will be better. I know my life. Maybe my sadness this is the best thing in my life. Honey, I understand you.

I don’t have strength to be strong person. My dreams don’t have any sense, really. Always is something what ruins my dreams.

Kerli has so much strength…. She and Anahi give me so much strength to live.
Forace you must fight about your dream. You can do all time.
My b-day are of the 7th January

I send to you more hugs <3

I feel like trash more and more
my f*****g sensitive

don't be so negative. You can't just give up.You really need to fight for your dreams.fight for what you want.things may seem bad now.but won't stay like it forever.

^Agreed.

Hugs Natt

Are you wanting to enter the new Kerli competition but you feel like you can't because you don't have a camera to take a picture of what you make? Maybe you could still enter but make something flat.. Then you could scan it in. It says in the rules it could be anything - like a collage. That's flat and it's pretty cheap to do, too. All you need is scrap paper and an idea?

Sorry if I'm butting in, I just want you to be able to participate.

Also, I agree with Forace. Stay strong and go for your dreams. You can do it!

Krissy but my life makes me nagative. Fighting about my dreams is hard.

out of the hollow thank you. Yes, I want to do something. Thank you for idea. My idea was outfit even I saw it in my head. But thank you so much. I will try do something.
Only I'm scared because in rules is:

Submit a well lit photo

Don't say sorry, please.
I don't know if my dreams have any sense, unfortunately....



Today I deleted pro ana songs from my mp3 and laptop. I don't know if I do good.
My stupid cat pissed my window. I cleaned it but it so much smells.

In next Satuurday I have first exam from geography.
Tommorow I'll start write to essays: English and about tourists in airport (John Paul II International Airport Kraków-Balice) in my city.

I feel a littlbe better today.

I love you guys so much!!!!

^I am used to cleaning cat pee from when Ash was sick. Try making a mixture of 1 part white vinegar, 2 parts warms water. Scrub the area with the mixture and a rag or paper towel. Let it dry, then scrub the area with plain warm water to take away the vinegar smell. Let me know if it works, if not, there are a couple more steps you can take.

Glad your feeling a little better.

TJ thank you but I don't must because when I turn off laptop it I saw that she did it also on my exercise book which was around me lol

Thank you <3

awww I made 1/3 my collage <3

out of the hollow thank you <3


awww now when I read blog yumeninja I saw that she did competition to today..

if you want to start only read it: http://ninjasovereign.com/2011/04/1-year/

KerliPoland wrote:TJ thank you but I don't must because when I turn off laptop it I saw that she did it also on my exercise book which was around me lol

Thank you <3

awww I made 1/3 my collage <3

out of the hollow thank you <3

Eeep what a bad kitty >O

Go Natt!! Whoop!!

hahahhaha my cat is crazy and thanks

ps i wrote about contest this is to 9th lol i'm crazy


now i play OMG by Sabrina Washington I love her songs

awww and i create new style - my own style in literature - neo weltschmerz

my kitty has done it on my books..lol

Oh wow xD Cat pee! That really smells! Our cat peed twice on our doormat. I took it to the garbage bin. Shame, it was a nice mat. It wasn't ours, the previous tenant left it here :3 Maybe I'll get a new doormat some day.
Our cat has also peed on the sofa, but it was an accident. He was drugged after a trip to the vet, so he couldn't control his bladder :D I got the smell out pretty nicely!

KerliPoland wrote:Forace I don't believe that will be better. I know my life. Maybe my sadness this is the best thing in my life.

It will! You won't live in that house forever! Someone is bound to fall in love with you! You're young, there's so much that will happen to you. And some things will be bad, others good, but that's life!
"Maybe my sadness is the best thing in my life"; I'm sorry but I seriously doubt that... This sounds like you're already giving up, not wanting to change. Not wanting for things to get better. Has this situation made you numb? You have every right to want things to be better! You just have to learn to stick up for yourself. Sure, it's easy for me to say... It all comes from within yourself, you're the one who has to decide "things will change now!". Only you can decide for your life.
Maybe the ONLY good thing that comes from your sadness, is awesome poetry ;)

Submit a well lit photo

A scan is pretty damn well lit xD Sure, it's not exactly a PHOTO, but a well lit picture nonetheless! I see no trouble with sending a scan of something! I want you to submit that :)

KerliPoland wrote:Today I deleted pro ana songs from my mp3 and laptop. I don't know if I do good.

Deleting things that are bad for you is always good! I understand it is hard to quit something you've had for a long time, but it really is just a "bad habit". Like smoking, it's very hard for some people to quit that!
Keep on concentrating things that are good and nice.

I asked for your birthday, because I thought of the perfect present for you! I'd make it myself, it would be totally bubblegoth! Please, let me make it for you! :3

[Forace,is right.If you want things to change you gotta make a step,

^Yes...agreed! Even though life can seem impossible at times you have to force into your brain that life will get better. I was miserable until I realized that I had to stop focusing on the bad and thinking everything would be shit all the time. You have to make yourself BELIEVE things will get better. You have to fight for your happiness. If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, PUSH THEM OUT! Tell them to fuck off and focus on what's good about you! If something bad happens, have a cry, then tell yourself it doesn't matter. It will pass. It's the only way you can feel happy. You can't give up:) I'm here with bipolar, depression, anxiety, ocd, etc. I have been that way since I could first walk and talk. Life for me has been and still is hell. It's a fight every minute of every day, but you know what? I'm happy! Finally! I still struggle but I fight. And it's ok to cry and be sad SOMETIMES, but you've gotta bounce back. If I can do it ANYONE can do it. Please give it a try, don't give up. I know you can do it. Xoxo

To quote Kerli; "Life's going on in your mind"

your so right

Forace wrote:Oh wow xD Cat pee! That really smells! Our cat peed twice on our doormat. I took it to the garbage bin. Shame, it was a nice mat. It wasn't ours, the previous tenant left it here :3 Maybe I'll get a new doormat some day.
Our cat has also peed on the sofa, but it was an accident. He was drugged after a trip to the vet, so he couldn't control his bladder I got the smell out pretty nicely!

Yeah, it smells so much :'(
And I'm so sorry

Forace wrote:Someone is bound to fall in love with you! You're young, there's so much that will happen to you

I don't want to be with man... they only hurt

Forace wrote:Maybe the ONLY good thing that comes from your sadness, is awesome poetry

I started like my poetry lol

Forace wrote:A scan is pretty damn well lit xD Sure, it's not exactly a PHOTO, but a well lit picture nonetheless! I see no trouble with sending a scan of something! I want you to submit that

you're right and I did it and looks so good

Forace wrote:Deleting things that are bad for you is always good! I understand it is hard to quit something you've had for a long time, but it really is just a "bad habit". Like smoking, it's very hard for some people to quit that!
Keep on concentrating things that are good and nice.

pro ana is unfortunately like hard narcotic

Forace wrote:I asked for your birthday, because I thought of the perfect present for you! I'd make it myself, it would be totally bubblegoth! Please, let me make it for you! :3

Honey, thank you so much but I can't be a problem for you.

butterflycry2010 wrote:[Forace,is right.If you want things to change you gotta make a step,

Krissy, I know :/

Tara thank you so much. Thank you for your love. I'm proud of you that you are happy <3

You're welcome.We all have day's when we don't feel in a good mood.That's normal.

KerliPoland wrote:I don't want to be with man... they only hurt

Aww. Not all of them! It's very good you're careful with men. Maybe one day meet someone who's really, really nice? Maybe it won't be a man who you fall in love with? Anyways, if you don't want a partner, just a good friend? Many good friends! Heh, now I don't make much sense :D
My point is just that you will meet people. Some may become friends :)

KerliPoland wrote:I started like my poetry lol

Very good! You are a very good writer :)

KerliPoland wrote:you're right and I did it and looks so good

Again, very good! I saw it, very beautiful :D

KerliPoland wrote:pro ana is unfortunately like hard narcotic

I understand, though it is a bit difficult to realize. I guess it's like the opposite of eating too much. Thinking like that first helps me understand. I usually eat too much, even when I'm not hungry, and it's very difficult to stop :/

You just always at least taste a bit and try different foods! Don't think about anything pro ana when eating, you don't need them to mess things up :) Just clean your mind and try eating.

I also realize that since you're not used to eating much, your stomach must be small. That's why eating feels bad. Your stomach will stretch according to how much you eat. So it won't feel as bad later :)

KerliPoland wrote:Honey, thank you so much but I can't be a problem for you.

Oh, you're never a problem to me! I really, really want to do it for you! Tell you what, I'm going to make it no matter what you say, and I'll show it to you. If you like it a lot, I want you to have it as a b-day gift :3
Or we could do a gift exchange, I do this for you, and you do something for me :)

I'm sorry that I write now. Forgive me , please...

Forace thank you that you understand me in every queations it mean for me so much. Thank you. Ok. I will do something for you. And it will be the best what I can do...

Krissy thanks <3

Equality March



Tommorow in my city will be Equality March. I want to go but I can't.... on event will be only 1,000 persons...

Now I put photos for Polish Equality Parades (if you don't see it, please only say):












2011/05/14 was in Łódź also Equality March people threw bottles, eggs and potatoes to LGBT.
One year ago in my town threw bangers to LGBT.
This is so awful.

It wrote people about LGBT:

1.LGBT terror
2. people are sadnes that in bottles wasn't gasolina
3. that ppl should kick LGBT
4. LGBT demoralize young people
5. they will be in hell

What do you think about it?

wow.crazy

KerliPoland wrote:Forace thank you that you understand me in every queations it mean for me so much. Thank you. Ok. I will do something for you. And it will be the best what I can do...

You're welcome, honey... I try to help ^^
And thank YOU, I'm so happy I can do this gift for you <3 I'll start making it today, I'm so excited! And remember that there's no hurry with the gifts, so no pressure with them :3

I agree with Krissy, that looks crazy... No need for the riot police, people just want to be who they are! How did the Equality March go? I hope no one was injured or anything :<

Krissy but this is Poland

Forace, thank you I will do for you also something

Forace I make a post on my other blog about it.... now I read that 3 persons was injured and was in hospital.
People which hate LGBT attacked their... police used gas and truncheons....
12 ppl was in arrests

my post is there http://welcomeinpoland.blog.onet.pl/

ohh i will be put things horrible in poland.. it will be blog about the biggest problems in poland

nice blog

Did I mention this gift I'm making will be something you can wear? Because it is :D
Don't worry, it's nothing big!

thats very nice of you.

Your blog looks very pretty and informative Polish people should be proud of you!

Forace, please I can't be a problem for u
and i'm scared situation with my home when u send to me on b-day
i think what i can do for u
Kerttu thanks <3

i had good time but again is awful
i cried today

That sucks, a home should be a place where you feel safe and where you can relax :/ I know it's tense there right now, so I thought that... Maybe I hold on to this gift until you can receive it without fear? Like, when you have a place of your own or things get better otherwise or something.
This has nothing to do with your father (or other family), so you should be able to receive gifts... It's none of his business, dammit! :D

hope things get better

Forace, I know but this is only my an awesome life

Krissy, thanks <3

Today was social worker, she said that if my dad will change myself more it they can help more... but u know :/

that be nice if your dad changed and stuff got better

Well, don't lose your hope completely with your dad. People change, and it's about time he would start seeing the damage he has unleashed on you. But i really really hope things would change for you finally. You deserve light and happiness <3

Eetu but I lose now. At Home was so big argument… my grandmother wants to throw me out of the house.
You see, I can’t see light and happiness
She said that I can’t even go to toilet and wash myself at home.. because I don’t give her my money,.. but you know my situation
Why always must be worse….
thank u for all <3

that's not good..Were are u suppose to go?

Were are u suppose to go?

Krissy, thank u for it

maybe your grandmother was just upset and did't mean it

pro ana is so strong probably.. it doesn't help me during study.. i making all things a few times slowly "(

i hate stress because it makes more active pro ana

Stress causes us to go to that thing that feels familiar and maybe even comfortable. For me, I eat chocolate when I feel bad :)

But I can choose not to take the chocolate, because I know eating it every day is bad. Just like you can choose not to go to pro ana.

And after a while, you don't even need it.

Just stay strong, you can do it :)

yes, last time was awful... i think that you don;t know because you was offline..

i understand you... i have the same with food like you with chocolate

i don't know if i can

You mean that thing with your grandmother? I was offline when you talked about that.
How old is she? Maybe she's getting... "silly", like old people usually do... And sounds like she's old fashioned, she thinks that hard work is the only way to live and all that... :D
Soon she will be the one needing help with eating and washing. She shouldn't make relatives angry with saying stupid things.

Of course you can, you just decide that you will, and it will happen. "I will study and I do my best". That is all right now.

Also, what do you need to live? Not anorexia, it will kill you. So, discard it! Make GOOD decisions :)

Don't stress,worrying is not good..You can really get sick if you worry too much.

Well,Just study & do the best you can do. When you relax a little you will calm down and do awesome.

Well,when i'm upset and stressed i eat a lot junk food.LOL

but be strong and make sure you eat.even if its just a small amout just eat.

yes, with my grandmother was so hard
here people are very strong and they not need help
honey..i don't know nothing

i feel very bad..........................................
i want to write more but i can't now

I'm sorry that your grandmother is giving you a hard time. Hope that things get better. Maybe she's just set in her old ways. & sometimes you can't change the why people think.Maybe she will come around,