Natt sends you love<3

thanks <3

now i feel like trash,,,,,,,,,,i hate this life

I want to say only it that now I'm write less because I don't feel to good... when will be better it I will be a normal person here.... i;m sorry

Take all the time you need Natt. But remember we're here to help you anytime Hugs! <3

Natt you're awesome. Just remember that, okay?

hope you feel better

I go through a lot of really hard times myself. Horrible little brain battles, if you will. I find myself consumed with negative thoughts. When I start to feel that way nowadays, I think to myself...I need to be strong, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Such as appreciating every little thing that I have in life that many people don't. Appreciating all the family and friend's I have around me. Then I spoil myself I have little spa days with bubble baths and candles and I'll use bath salts and facial cleansing masks. It makes me feel beautiful and relaxed. Then I'll do something I'm good at. Like making some jewelry or drawing, to remind myself that I am special. Going for walks and exercising helps too. It releases endorphins that make you feel great.
So treat yourself and maybe it'll help you feel a little better!

I agree with missTJ!...You have to be more positive

Thank you for your messages <3 It gave me strenght <3 I love you so much <3



This isn't poem, only what I feel and what I think now...

Who is human?
Does life have meaning?
How looks love or happiness?
Does it exist?
When I close my eyes
Darkness hugs me
When I don’t hear
The light protects me
Life without secrets
It is certainly
Secrets, secrets, violence destroy this world


Trust is a treasure
Family is more than treasure
Sometimes I think how looks a normal family
Loving family
Love, happiness, trust, fun
But it is an illusion for me .


When I read the newspapers or I watch television I see a sea of violence
Why is the media only talk out loud
Why they not help?
Yes, a hot topic
Pathetic ...
You, Me, and they're treated like trash
How long people will remember about Japan?

It’s one reply ...
Only when the media will talk about it
Do you remember about Haiti?
Is Haiti is now in the media?
one answer: no
This is not a hot topic
audience is more important
media sell our lives

Life is priceless
This is not true
This is just a myth
Today
Only money
We have to change the world



Thsi is very important song for me - in the song is text in English, I hope that when you will be hear it you will be understand what I feel when I live here....

this poem...thoughts...are very very valuable, Natt.
and your life is like this to make you stronger. it will change, it MUST.

Liisu, I don't know... I wrote only what I feel now
When I hear that I'm whore etc it I don't have strenght
thank you that you are <3

you know you are not this....awful word you just mentioned
the person who tells you that is in awful pain to say that.
you are a strong person. I am here for you, whatever what.

Liisu, but when all my life I hear that: I'm whore, I'm nobody, I'm trash, I'm stupid etc... this person today was my dad but this is a normal almost every day...I feel that people have right if I hear it all my life

Liisu, really thank you <3

I cry
I cry so much

keep strong.keep fighting..keep being postive

Only, now this is hard.. this is like war inside me

Natt, you know those people are wrong, you're not a whore or stupid. I've told you that before :<

I know you must feel like shit after hearing that all the time. But I guess those people are in pain, too, and they are taking it out on you. Because you are vulnerable and such a nice person. They know you won't say anything against them. They might not even realize what they are doing to you. Angry people attacking the weaker person, I think it's in the subconscious.

So if you want things to change, you must step up and take control. Really, just get away from those angry and mean people. You don't deserve their presence, and they certainly don't deserve your presence. Least of all your father, since he keeps taking money which doesn't belong to him. That's stealing. It's OK for you to love him, he is your father no matter what, but he really is bad for you. Sometimes the people you love hurt you the most. Then you just have to take some time away from them.

No matter how much they call you names, it doesn't make it the truth.
Ask us what we think about you. We have absolutely no reason to lie, we are MoonChildren. We will tell you the truth, that you are beautiful, awesome and a nice person! I know it's hard for you to believe right now, but I know you'll see it some day, too.

I'd really like to come over there and be the kind of friend you need. It's very hard to try and explain and help and show my feelings by writing :<

Forace, I don't know....maybe this is my fault
Maybe I deserve that suffer all life, maybe
I'm to weak to take control
Forace, thank you that you are,
I know that I'm horrible and pathetical person
but thank you for your love and for it that you are patient

I agree with Forace

Girl, you DON'T deserve that..No one does!

It's NOT your fault..You did NOTHING wrong.

but maybe I should suffer for your happiness and other ppl
really, I feel that this is my fault because I live

you never ever suffer for other people if you've done no harm to them

I do believe in karma thou...that we have to suffer for our past lives...
I am sure everything will get better for you, it just takes lots of time.
BELIEVE

Don't listen to anything anyone calls you. What they say doesn't matter in the least. It doesn't have any real power over you. Only if you let it. It took me a long time to learn that. Be strong, stand up for yourself. Don't let things get to you.
I cry a lot too...but that doesn't mean your not a strong, amazing person.

<3 xo

Liisu I don't hurt people.. I give people all my love but I'm naive, too naive
only for me this is hard.... here I'm alone... often I want that somone hug me but......

MissTJ this is so hard because this is family... I love you so much <3

we can all be too naive at times. it's part of being sensitive and emotional.
especially those who you love the most can also hurt the most.

She's right!..That's why things hurt so much cause it's people that we care the most about. We NEVER think that they would hurt us.That's why it's hard

You can't let it upset you. Whatever they tell you.It's not true. I'am sure things will get better in time.I really hope they do. I cry a lot too..

Liisu you're right now. I feel it.

Krissy thank you

A little story: "My life"*

Part 01: Who I Am???

Who I Am??



Sometimes in my head is emptiness
Emptiness isn’t my friend
Only you are my friend
You give me life
So much for me
Love always
When is darkness
When is lighteness
Around me is so loud
My tears want love
Screaming to me
“Give me love”
“Be my friend”
Don’t cry, please
This is only a moment
One moment in your life


* I will be try put what I feel and what I think

PS - this is my pic, and I made it on Gimp

That's how i feel sometimes...

Nat, the picture is AWESOME!
And I love your avatar, so cute!

Krissy, unfortunately life is hard... but we have two options... fighting-what is hard or do nothing.... valid is fighting for happiness

Liisu, thank you very much
but in question my avatar it I'm there so fat and horrible. this is pic from 2010 and I don't have make up on this photo.. i'm crazy

FAT? are you kidding me?! you are LEAN, Natt!
stop joking. really. you are NOT fat in this picture.

Liisu but I feel it, only sometimes now I think that this isn't true...only illusion in my mind

Like she said..You are not fat.You are just fine..Lots of girls would kill to have a nice lean body like yours.

but my mind thinks defferently

Liisu, now is 39,2 kg but was time when was worse.....

you are underweighted. you HAVE to eat more. you know that.

Liisu only this is hard.... but therapy very help me and conversation on TOL

thank God you have that!

don't listien to ur mind....It's telling you wrong....

I used to not like my body either.(when i was a teen) but now iam ok with it....

Liisu, only this is like nightmare
Krissy, I try, even now I don't listen to pro ana music etc
It good that now you're ok

every height has a weight level you are suppose to be..

if u google type ur height that you are and it should tell you how much you should be..

when me and a friend was teens..She was like 110 pounds and she thought she was fat..And she wasn't..She would make herself bring up...wasn't healthy.

You have to eat more girl

I have horrible things my mind convinces me of too, but you have to learn to recognize what is bullshit is what is real. I know it can be so hard sometimes to differentiate fantasy from reality but you've got to do it for your health! Keep going to therapy and every time you think your fat tell your brain to fuck off and tell yourself how beautiful you are. If you keep doing that eventually it'll start to become habbit Trust me...I've been through a million wars, hehe.

Krissy, I know body mass index and similar things
and I hope that with your friend now is good

MissTJ I understand you, I have the same but this is only life...
When I saw you first time on TOL I thought that you are connect with pro ana, because I saw that symbol butterfly have ed.... I know that this is stupid that I write it...

I hope that you will take good care of your body and start eating more.Cause your body needs healthy food to run.Just like cars needs oil to run. We would't wanna you to get sick.

^Well, all I'm sayin is, you've gotta be strong and fight your brain. Don't give up.

You thought I was connected with what? Sorry...language barrier. Didn't fully understand that sentence.
I have always loved butterflies since I was little and now that I am going through this change in body and mind butterflies mean even more to me because they stand for change and rebirth.

Krissy, I know and I trying do better. I try, really. Sometimes isn;t good but I must fight.

MissTJ I'm sorry for my English. hmm I thought that you was part of pro ana, because many people with eating disorders use symbol of butterfly

Don't apologize for it, lol. It's quite alright. It's not something that can be helped.
Oooooohhhhhhh. I get you now. Nope Pro ana I assume is a some sort of group for people with eating disorders?

Honey, i have problems with English lol
Thanks <3
This is pro ana http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro-ana

At least you can speak another language. I don't know even a sentence in any other language. Just a few words in french.

You're right. In school I had English, French, Polish, Latin and German and I tried a little Spain and Portuguesse, but it was one moment