Alive - completed story

TADAA, it's finished! I decided to stick with the original title. You will see why as you read it

It's funny, usually I write in the early hours of the morning, but obviously I can't do that all the time, as I have lectures to get up for. So, I completed this late at night and found that it turned into a thriller. I've never written anything like this before, and it just so happens that I've never written late at night, only during the day or very early in the morning. One of my lecturers advised us to experiment with when and where we wrote and see what happens. Turns out changing the time I write affects the genre of the story O_o How odd.

Hehe, anyway, tell me what you think of the finished product


Alive

I could hear the rain against the window, as I sat hunched over in my living room with the curtains drawn. I found comfort in the dim light, as the weather outside became more like the fingers of countless hands tapping the glass. They couldn't see me. They were blind to me, just as I was blind to the world outside.

A sudden gust of wind howled its way past my safe little box; for a moment, I wondered how it would feel to walk out the door and feel the air rush past my face, stealing my breath, threatening to tear the hairs from my scalp. As horrifying a prospect as my mind made it, there was an attraction to the fear. There was no life in here. There was only death out there, but at least it was something.

I stood up, flooded with a sense of purpose. Walking towards the door, I noticed how the worn carpet scratched against my bare feet. With each breath, I pictured the dust and recycled air flooding my lungs. Every pounding heartbeat resounded in my ears, reminding me that I was alive, but had never lived. Alive, but dead. Unknown, unseen.

Fingers trembling, I unlatched the door and froze with my hand on the door handle. My mind was turbulent with screaming doubts. Pressing my hands over my ears only locked the shadows inside my head in even tighter. They pummelled my skull to the rhythm of my pulse and their keening shrieks rose to a crescendo. My eyes flew open, wide and determined. I could almost feel the heat of their fire. The screams continued, but I would not listen, I could not.

I forced down the handle and threw the door open, too panicked to even think what I might be hurling myself into. I took my first stumbling steps into the street, feeling like a child, reborn, as the rain fell on my skin. I tried to understand what I was feeling as an unfamiliar sensation told of my face shifting in an unusual way. Its entire structure seemed lighter as I felt my cheekbones lift, along with the corners of my mouth. I lifted my head and stretched out my arms to welcome the pleasantly cooling raindrops drenching my hair and clothes, as I smiled for what felt like the first time.

My heart lept and I almost ran back inside as I heard movement nearby. Taking deep breaths of outside air which tasted faintly of the rain to steady my nerves, I turned and saw another woman. She held her jacket closed around her to protect herself from the weather as she took out the rubbish. I wondered why she had not spared a glance in my direction, as she too lingered outside her door, for we were fairly close to each other. Close enough, I would have thought, for her to sense my presence as I watched her.

I risked a closer look at her face. Her eyes were dead - cold and emotionless - an expression I recognised from every time I had looked in the mirror for as long as I could remember. She was alone too. Her front door was open, but no sound emanated from inside the house. I felt I should start a conversation with her, as it was uncomfortable to stand and stare at her, like I should not have been there. I got the impression that she had suffered in ways than no human deserved. It unnerved me.

"Hello." I said feebly, purely in an attempt to catch her attention and to try and stop her staring at nothing with those lifeless eyes. She did not bat an eyelid.

"Is something wrong? Can I help you?" Again, there was no response. She appeared to have stopped blinking, but I dismissed this, telling myself that it was all in my mind, which was not yet used to this new world. While I had been attempting to talk to the woman, the rain had slowed to a stop. The silence was deafening.

She turned to me. Her blank eyes bore straight through me, unseeing. My throat too dry from terror to scream, I turned and ran. My bare feet caught on every loose pebble and crack in the pavement, causing a sharp jolt of pain each time. I had no idea where I was going. All I wanted was to get as far away from...it, as possible. Bolting down street after street, my eyes flitting wildly in search of somebody who could help me, I began to realise that there was nobody else. There was only me and it left. I didn't know if it was following me. I didn't know anything any more. My breathing became thin and shallow as a thick mist fell over my eyes and a tsunami of pain wracked my body.

I was next aware of the roughness of the carpet in my living room. I opened my eyes and found myself sprawled on the floor in my house. I stood and tried to recall what had just happened, but it was already blurred and fading into nothing. I looked towards the door and it sparked a revelation. I luxuriated in the vague memory of cooling droplets tumbling from above and falling on my face. Uncertain, but tempted to discover where this blissful memory had come from, I walked towards the door and rested my fingers on the handle.

I wondered what it would be like to feel alive.

seriously?
I loved to read it. I can't think of anything for you to improve, coz my English is not that good as yours, indeed
I mean...seriously...keep it going and keep it posting I'd love to hear what's gonna happen.

Yeah, you'll definitely see the rest of it soon Thanks!

i loved it(: i definitely wanna read more.
as far as improvements go, i cant think of anything, i dont think anything needs to be changed.
its awesome :DD

oh i hate when an interesting story just cuts out and im left thinking whats going to happen next lol!

^ Haha, I'm putting up the completed story today, so you won't have to wait much longer