TheLastSongbird's Blog

^ those are super CUTE.
i LOVE the yellow cow and the rainbow ^^

I just want to apologise for something in advance. I'm in a depressive mood today, so I'm sorry if that comes across in any of my posts. I wouldn't deliberately upset or offend any of you. I was in such a great mood just last night too. This sucks...

I think I need to get out and do something, but I don't know what...maybe I'll ask if my boyfriend's doing anything today. Ideally, I should be doing work for my course, but I'm in no mood for that. It can wait till tomorrow.

So, yeah, if anything I say today hurts you at all, please don't take it to heart. I won't have meant it. I'm sure I'll be feeling better soon.

I.L.U.

aww i hate those days!
ive been moaning lately that im bored etc but now all of a sudden ive got so much to do and i just wanna go in my own tempo u know.
oh welll..
lets hope for better days

^ I'm feeling better today I managed to finish my short story last night, I'll add the rest of it to the first part in the Stories section today. I'm pleased with how it turned out I've got some more work to do today, but I'm in the perfect state of mind for it. It's been ages since I've felt so full of ideas, I'm glad I've got my creativity back

Good luck with your work, I'm sure you'll do a great job. I can't believe you're that busy but you're still making me a hat. You're an absolute star <3

haha u should all see my living room right now.
actually, i might take a picture lol and show u all!!!

^ Haha, I've seen that picture! I love the rainbow canvas, and I think I spied some black and purple material and some lace...hmmm

Ugh, I'm gonna blog, just to distract my mind from the fact that I'm soooo tireeeeed!

I got critiqued on my work for the first time today, and it went so well I honestly wasn't expecting people to like it an awful lot, but the people in my group were like "This is so lovely!" and then one of them said "The only thing wrong with this is that it puts mine to shame." I've been given a little advice on how I could change one tiny bit, which I was glad about. I would have felt like they weren't being honest otherwise xD Seeing as it seemed popular, I think I'll put it up on the forum. It's a 300-ish word story based on a childhood memory and I do like how the fondness I look back on that memory with showed in my writing ^^ So, today was a good day and I'm going home to visit tomorrow!

Halloween's coming up fast and I'm really excited about it this year. It's going to be heaps of fun with my new friends ^^ I still can't take in how much things have changed since moving here. I've gone from the loner who everybody could seem to find a reason to pick on or bully to having a fantastic social life, enjoying the work at uni and having some great friends (along with - might I add - a couple of admirers ) I can't figure out how to handle it at the moment. Everything I knew I deserved has come along all at once, all that and I have my boyfriend with me. I can't believe how lucky I've been. This is my "fuck you" to all the bullies back in school. They can't hurt me any more and I've come out of all that with a wonderful life in uni, with people who love and accept me for who I am.

Also, it is now less than a month until I go and see Paramore with the love of my life.

Life is good

Oh, that's so amazing. I feel so happy for you, how you stayed positive through rough spots and how positively it came out for you. It's so admirable. I was one of the freaks at my school too, since I was a cheerleader my freshman year and then gave it up for theater, which is "like OMG! sooooooo like NOT cool! i mean, totally like LA-AME!" But it was really tough to go from social status to laughing stock. Not that I liked the social status, it was just... accustom. But anyway, I realized my hatred for how they were, how cruel and evil and just, terrible they treated people, even their friends. Their lives depended on being popular, and I let that hatred control me. I made myself as opposite to them as I could. I thought that my hatred for them was who I was, so I changed myself to be not-them, and not me. My new-self grew on me over time, except that hatred that burned inside me grew even more. I'm trying to cool it down, so it's really nice to see that things CAN turn out positive to people from similar situations.

ohhh everybody's seeing paramore live its so unfair!!

@Poetic - It's a shame that the people who don't want to put up with all the hating that goes on in school usually end up being dragged into it anyway, in one way or another. I was made to feel that hate too, it was like I had no other choice, when I realised there was nobody at school who was worthy of my love. We all go through bad times, but they do make you stronger and you get out of them a better person. Like Kerli says, to truly see the light, you have to have faced the dark. It's tough to get past the hate, but it was easier for me once I was away from school for good. I'm sure you will be able to get past it too. Better times are on the way

@Mimi - Aww, I hope you get to see Paramore sometime! I'll be thinking of you when I'm there.

Mimi has finished my hat! Look how beautifully it turned out!





It's going to have Moonmarks on it too, Mimi's putting them on before she sends it to me ^^ I couldn't possibly have been happier with it. People are going to be disappointed if they ask me where I got it from "It's a one-of-a-kind Mimi edition." xD Nah, I'm kidding, I'm hoping somebody does ask, so I can say "A very talented friend made it for me."

:O
thats awesome!! i love it!!
BEAUTIFUL(:

How absolutely freakin' adorable!

Sooo Super nova

such cute little hat <3

haha i just looked at the pictures again.. and trust me to take a picture where my old broken sneakers are on lol

Very pretty hat.

I've been to Ireland, Scotland and England. And countrysides were the most enigmatic places ever! Especially Scotland and Ireland countrysides. Amazing.

This ring is fabulous I can't believe you found such a piece, what a coincidence- you found a moonmark ring and you're a moonchild! haha

I.L.U.

^ And the gemstones in the ring are Moonstones xD I didn't know that till after I bought it. There were several rings in the same style with different gemstones, but the one I bought just caught my eye

Oh that hat is fabulous Mimi your so talented <3

I looove the hat

Hey everyone, just in need of a rant. Sorry about this...

One of the very few bad things about being on a Creative Writing course is that when you have a day like I've just had, when you don't feel creative or inspired in the slightest, you feel utterly lazy because you haven't been able to do any writing. Now I'm worried that this week is going to be over in the blink of an eye and I'll end up forcing myself to do all my work at the last minute -_- I hope I'll be in a better writing mood tomorrow.

I've mentioned how much things have changed since I've been at uni. I've changed too. Nights out have become pretty much routine and I enjoy them so much! I didn't used to give a damn either way. It's only been about 6 days since I last went out on the town, but I'm craving another night out already. Maybe the reason why I care about going out now is the fact that I actually have a considerable amount of friends to enjoy a social life with. Well, I say that, but they apparently forgot about me on Saturday night and had a whale of a time without me. Gee, thanks...

Is it wrong of me to be a bit pissed off over that? It isn't really them going out without me that bothers me, it's the fact that I thought they cared about me. Even my boyfriend didn't think to invite me. He brought it up with me when he visited me last night and he said himself that he should have asked if I wanted to come along. He was sorry, so I didn't go any further into it, but I still feel hurt. Maybe I should talk to him about it...I just don't want to make him feel bad or like it was anybody's fault.

Maybe I'm too needy, but I only want friends who care about me enough to remember I exist when I'm not there...I even slipped my soulmate's mind that night. I feel like a ghost sometimes. I'm noticed when I'm making my presence felt, but as soon as I leave I cease to exist in most people's minds. What do I do wrong? Am I not exciting enough, or enough fun to be around? Am I too quiet, just because I don't want to be obtrusive? All I can be is myself and I'm not going to force myself to change, but I still feel like there's something I'm missing. All I want is to be loved. Why is it that loud, bitchy people can have tons of friends, or at least people who pretend to care, while I struggle to make two or three friends who acknowledge my existence?

I'm so glad I have you, Moon Children. Otherwise, the sad fact is that I would feel completely lost. Once again, sorry for ranting, but I just needed somewhere to vent.

take a break from the writing. im sure it'll be back in no time. ^^

its not wrong for you to be pissed off about that. i get really pissed at those types of things most of the time. sometimes its the little things that are hard to let go. sometimes parts of my family exclude me from their social gatherings, and then i see posts on facebook about what a great time they had. it always makes me wanna ask them why they didnt even bother to ask me if i wanted to go, and i always feel hurt afterwards, like, do they still know i exist? do they not care about me like i thought they did? did i do something wrong? so, i see how that can upset you. and its alright. it'll pass over time.

i always think im not exciting enough or fun enough to be around with my friends. but then i think about all the times they were there for me. all the times they showed that they cared about me. all the times they trusted me with their secrets or came to me specifically for help. and then that thought sorta fades away. sometimes i wanna act more outgoing and talk more just so i seem more "fun" but, i cant cuz thats not me. x]] if they're really your friends they'll accept you for being kinda quiet at times.

I.L.U. :DD

Thankyou I'm glad to know it's not just me being over-dramatic! I found out they went out without me through Facebook too. They were saying what an amazing night it was, tagging all the people that came out. And then one guy I think of as a really good friend was like "Any night out with that group of people is bound to be amazing!" It was basically everyone in our group of friends except me. I know this was just me feeling upset at the time, but I felt like I was just someone who's there from time to time, like I don't matter.

I haven't really had much chance to get to know them all properly yet, but I thought at least a couple of those people were starting to think of me as a friend, not just someone who hangs round with them. I love too easily, I think that's part of the problem. I think everyone I've met is wonderful, but for some reason it seems like I'm not the easiest person to bond with. I do try, but like I said, I'm a quiet person by nature. Everyone says "Are you always this quiet?" like it's strange or a bad thing. It makes me feel like I'm in the wrong, and I sometimes wonder if everyone I meet thinks I'm cold and standoff-ish before they even get a chance to know me. It's just that relationships with friends haven't gone so well in the past, so I'm on my guard at first. Once that falls away, I form bonds very quickly, but the other person still has to show some sign of really caring before I open up to them.

Ugh, maybe I do need to talk to my boyfriend about this, just to clear the air. Otherwise I think I'm just going to find myself getting upset again.

I'm sorry to hear about that. Sometimes people really don't think. I don't really know about parties etc cuz there's not much of them here and the ones that are me or my friends wont know about, the popular kids have them and the silent/neutral ones may go too but here too much character or different style mean no no.

^ That's just stupid. Why are people so judgmental? This is another one of those times when I wish the people on ToL could all meet up somehow and hang out together. It would be amazing to have just one day with a group of people I know and trust. We could all be ourselves and we wouldn't have to care what we looked like or talked about.

Hehe, what I wear or look like isn't usually a problem. It's just that if I talked to people freely about everything I believe in, they would think I belong in an insane asylum. I only have one person I can talk to personally about my spiritual and magical beliefs, and that's my boyfriend, but he doesn't share my beliefs. He just listens very patiently. He must think I'm a little crazy sometimes, but at least he accepts me for all that I am.

I often wonder how I went on with life before I discovered Moon Children. Every single one of you is awesome, and I love you to bits just for being you. It's a shame the whole world can't be like you.

The chances of me and my boyfriend going to see Paramore are now at serious risk. I can only cross my fingers now, and hope he's able to go. For the reasons that there's still a chance he could still be able to go with me, and that it's such short notice, I can't ask anyone else for fear of having to reject them at the last minute, thereby disappointing them.

What sucks about the whole thing too is that I was about to ask my best friend if she wanted to go with me in the first place, but then I found out her boyfriend had already got them both tickets. The same thing's happened again recently - I was about to ask her if she wanted to go and see a comedian we both like live, but he went and bought just his and her tickets again. I'm scared that as long as she's with this guy, I'm not going to be able to go to concerts and stuff with her any more. I feel like he's slowly taking her from me.

I went to her house to visit in the Easter holidays (I'd last seen her for about ten minutes in December) and he was there. She hadn't told me he would be, or asked if it would be ok. He was there the whole day, and it was so awkward. I felt like I couldn't talk to my friend, because her boyfriend and I have only met each other three times, so I don't know him. In the evening we watched TV, those two cuddling on one sofa, me alone on the other. I may as well have been invisible. I felt so alone. When he's there, it feels like it's all about him, even though I've known her for years and he's known her for just over one year. Their relationship's constantly up and down, me and her have never argued once, and yet it feels to me like he means more to her than I do. Some friendship...

I don't know, sometimes I feel like coming out and saying all this to her and how much it hurts. But she's in love, so it would most likely make her hate me if I slagged off her boyfriend and her relationship with him like that. I should find a way to say it nicely, but the whole thing gets me so riled up once I start talking about it that I'm worried it would all end up coming out wrong anyway.

I love her, I always have, maybe more than she'll ever know. But, of course, now she has a boyfriend all that means fuck all. She's said how much I supposedly mean to her, but she doesn't show it any more. With me, words just don't cut it. She's going to Leeds to see him for most of the Christmas holidays, so I might not get a chance to see her for more than a few minutes once again.

If I'm supposed to mean so much, why am I made to feel worthless? If I wasn't so scared to lose her completely, I would ask her that straight up and see what her reaction was. But I'm not, so it seems like my only option is to hurt over this. She will always mean a lot to me, even if she ends up forgetting me altogether.

Ugh, I wish my flatmate wouldn't play his music so loud. I just want some peace and quiet. Yet again though, that's apparently too much to ask for.

hei, it's very often like this with friends. they fell in love and leave friends behind. for a while. I'm sure you still mean a lot to her...she will soon have more time for you. it seems her boyfriend is quite new. it will pass
you'll hang around together pretty soon.

I hope so. We used to see each other every week without fail, but there came a point when we had to part ways. Since then we've been able to see each other much less often. I think about her a lot and I miss her, and it just makes me wonder how often I cross her mind. One of my new friends asked me a question that was supposed to be a joke, but it reminded me of her, so I started crying. I turned away and stopped talking, but he only thought I was embarrassed. Only my boyfriend knew that I was upset, and he had the decency to give me an excuse to go into another room to talk to him.

Ok, I'm going to tell you guys something personal, something I've told hardly anyone. I hope you can accept this, I'm sure you won't judge me for it, but still...There was a time when I loved my best friend as more than a friend. I tried so hard to keep my feelings from her, thinking it was probably only a crush, but they lasted for 2-3 years, so I finally told her how I really felt. I didn't expect her to feel the same, although the hope was there, and she didn't. She still accepted me though, and I felt so thankful for that. I knew that only a true best friend would still be there for me after a confession like that, and she was.

You know how they say that if you loved someone once, the feelings always stay with you? That's been true for me. Even though they're not as intense as they were back then, I feel so protective of her and I miss her so much. I want her to be happy, but then that conflicts with the fact that she's with a boyfriend who seems to act differently towards her depending on how he feels like behaving. That and he's 21, maybe 22. I wish she could be with someone her own age, someone she can be silly and have fun with, like I do with my boyfriend. Well, maybe she does have fun with him, but I can't help but think his changeable behaviour might be linked with something from his past. I can't say that for certain though. Like I said, I barely know him.

The question I was asked by my new friend was "Have you ever kissed a girl?" This reminded me of my feelings for my best friend and how much I miss her and wish her boyfriend would leave her alone sometimes. So, understandably I think, the question upset me.

I hope what I've told you doesn't in any way alter how you see me as a person. You guys are some of the best friends I could hope for, so I'm sure the plain, simple, unavoidable fact that I was once in love with my best female friend won't change a thing. But if it does, then I'm sorry. I just feel that Moon Children shouldn't keep things from each other.

Sorry that you had to put up with my venting yet again. I hope you don't find it too annoying...

I.L.U. ♥

^ as weird as this sounds, i know exactly what that feels like. actually it kinda creeps me out how similar our situations seem. unfortunately, i have no groundbreaking wisdom to share with you on how to cope with these things because i'm still trying to figure that out myself, a continuous battle.

so all i can say right now is: you're not alone. of course, it doesn't alter the way we see you! us moonchildren must stick together and be understanding towards eachother, no matter what happens. you can always trust us because we love you just as much as you love us

aaaand, of course, kia kaha, girl! show perseverence and know that a solution will appear one day. i guess you'll just have to wait for it in the meantime, bracing yourself against the pain along the way. it's not easy, but i'm sure there'll be some kind of unforeseen (omg how do i SPELL that!?) light at the end of the tunnel.

good luck I.L.U.

Ahh, Moon Child connection again! Yeah, it's tough to get used to when you have to cope with still having feelings for someone to a certain extent, but that person never felt the same. But still, thankyou. There's no doubt in my mind about what I have to do. I will always be there for my friend if and when she needs me, and I will always have you wonderful Moon Children on my side ^^ I wish my friend could see that she can do so much better than who she's with now. But I suppose that's love for you. It's persistent. Ah, well, at least if her relationship turns out badly, she will have me to turn to.

Thanks so much Caroline. I think everyone finds it difficult to find a solution to our situations, but you've put it into a much better perspective for me. You're super-nova!

I had a heart to heart with one of my new friends a couple of nights ago. He was angry with someone who is insistent on pursuing his girlfriend, and it was good to have a chance to let him know he can trust me with his problems. I found out that we're quite similar to each other, in that we try to keep the peace, but we come across some people who make it so difficult to rise above the situation. I felt like there was a connection made between us, which is something that hasn't happened to me for several years. I last felt the same when I met my best friend. I was 12 then.

I hope I can keep this friend...I have so much love to give, and one more person to show it to is never a bad thing.

I just spent two and a half hours straight writing a story for uni. When I start to write, I lose all track of time passing, it's like I'm in the story. I feel accomplished and relaxed too...especially when I've written something closely related to a personal emotional experience like I just have. It's so calming when you don't really have to think about what to write, when it just flows because it's already there in your heart.

Hmm...sometimes I wonder if this could really be my future. I would love to write for a living. I know it isn't always that easy, but I've thought about being a writer since I was very little. There were long gaps in between where I hardly though about it at all, but now I've ended up in uni doing a Creative Writing course.

It's not like I want to be the next J.K. Rowling or whatever. I just feel like this could be my purpose. I feel like I could teach people through writing what I've learnt through Kerli - that you can reach your dreams, that believing in fairies doesn't make you childish and about Moon Children and I.L.U. All kinds of things. I don't want to make millions. I feel like I have a message too, and if it's only understood by a few I'll be happy. Of course, if I ever wrote a series of bestsellers and I could be financially comfortable for the rest of my life just from writing, then that would be great too.

I usually find it scary to think about the future. But now I'm away from everyone who tried to drag me down or hold me back, I feel I can see the right direction in front of me and it makes me feel positive that things will turn out right, and I will find my perfect place in life. Before now, I don't think I've ever felt that way before. I hope I'm right in thinking all this.

TheLastSongbird your words are so very beautiful. Yes writing this is something special what is in ours hearts. This is very good that you feel relaxed. This is the basis for writing. Your dream is so fantastic. Good Luck

I've just been reading a blog of Kerli's. It says: "I learned something new today...people that are full of shit need to be treated like they were full of shit. Fuck the forgiveness, fuck all the niceness and appreciating them for hurting you cause "it made u stronger." Blah Blah.
I mean, at the end, it's all true. But we just gotta stop idealizing a piece of shit. People who care about no one else than themselves just poison u and u know u can do so much better without having them in your life.
So stop being too busy collecting stones. There's diamonds out there too. It takes a little longer to find them. But they're worth SO much more.
I think I've found a few:)"

It's funny this has come up now...This is like my life right now. I hardly think about the people who have hurt me any more. I don't wish for anything bad to happen to them, because if I did then they would have won. If anything, they've left me mentally and emotionally scarred, but I'm determined to push that out of my mind as much as possible, because I don't want them to keep hurting me. I have made ME stronger, nobody else. Certainly not them. And I'm slowly uncovering the diamonds, now I'm out of all that shit. I realised who the precious people are in my life already, and I've found people who are willing to see who I really am and accept me now I'm at uni.

I find myself writing about what I've been through in pieces I know I'm going to share with my friends on my course. Two in particular understand what I write about and they still accept me for who they see in front of them. They understand me, not that tiny niggle that stays with me, still hurting and feeling betrayed. They're just nice, and that's what I need right now. Good people who aren't going to backstab me as soon as I let my guard down.

And, of course, there are all you MoonChildren too. I can't thank enough for being brought to this forum when I needed people who were going to understand. You are the proof that there's still hope for this world yet. I believe that we are going to save the world. Not now, or even in the near future, and not in a way that's definitely there, but I feel we are. A lot of people would think I was childish for believing that Love can conquer all, when really, more people need to remember how powerful Belief and Love truly are. Then we can start to leave behind all the hurt and hate in this world.

MoonChildren, you are all diamonds, and I consider you my most special treasures. I love you all with my whole heart in a way that's impossible to explain. I'm sure you'll never be dulled by the negativity around you because, although you're sensitive, you are strong. And you are beautiful. Never, ever forget that, dear ones. Keep shining ♥

Aww that was so beautiful. And true. That's what i've been working on the past year, getting rid of the people that bring the weak side of me in, the side that can't say anything back to people hurting you or not being able to do things because being sure you're just going to be disliked by everybody and get a new bunch of haters, so yeah, looking for the right people is important. For me all the good people live outside of this (possibly the most narrow minded damn city ever) place but i'll manage until i get away. Honestly i see nasty people only when i go shopping here and that's like once a month, luckily all the great stores are 30min away in another town . But i loved your point and you are so right, i'm really happy you've founded the people that appreciate you for what you are because you are such an wonderful and caring person. I really love you sister and i'm so glad to know you, never give up

I.L.U

You're going to get out of your city and do something great with your life, I know it. I think many people, without knowing it, sense the exceptional, those with powerful souls, and don't like it. So they fight it with hate.

I'm glad you're feeling happy with your friends at school. I was finding life very tough when I was 16/17 too, but once you get through it you see why it was important. You need it to be ready for the rest of the world, and the rest of your life. People are still growing up. Some will grow out of being spiteful, others won't, but that's their problem.

Thankyou, brother. I won't give up. Promise me you won't either. You are so talented, and I'm sure that will be recognised by so many people. Do whatever you have to to get where you want in life, because you deserve it

The view out of my window right now:













I am actually in love...

oooh winter wonderland xD so pretty!!

<3 i wanna go out and play with Bella (my friends dog. he texted me this morning and said bella is like a puppy again with all this snow)

One of my Christmas cards has loads of Moon Marks on it. I can't believe I only just noticed!



Merry Christmas, sweet MoonChildren ♥

Oooh that's so epic, little moonmarks!!!! Merry Christmas my dear <3

wow!.That's nice

wheerreee aaare uuuuuu?? i misss uu

Aww, Mimi. I'm here now! Although, right now, I probably should be going to sleep...I can't get myself tired enough to sleep though

Note to self: Indulging in videos on YouTube isn't a good idea if you should be going to sleep. Side effects include hyperactivity, restlessness and nocturnal behaviour.

...YouTube should be classed as a drug xD

i agree...i spend so many hours lots in youtube videos

I feel odd today. Sort of empty. I'm in one of those moods where I'll just sit and stare into space for ages, not knowing what to do with myself.

I think Vyvi is trying to help. I keep seeing little transparent dots or flashes of purple or little movements out of the corner of my eye, and every so often part of my arm feels warm and I feel like crying. I don't feel sad or anything, not except for the odd little waves of wanting to cry. I just feel blank. It's weird...I hope whatever's wrong sorts itself out soon.

EDIT: I'm feeling better now. I've been meditating for the past few minutes and it did help to settle me, but it made me feel weird in a different way. I could feel my pulse very strongly on my back and my forehead, right on my third eye, and I felt like I had wings, like they were growing from my back. I'm pretty sure that my fairy guardian is trying to make contact with me. As soon as I can, I'm going to draw a fairy oracle card. I think there might be something important the Fae want to tell me.

I don't know what to do...

Have any of you been in a situation where you feel you're doing all you can for someone, but it's getting you nowhere and they aren't giving the same amount back? I don't know if any of you will be able to help, but I at least need to tell someone all this without being told I'm worrying about nothing or being stupid/overly sensitive.

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and 7 months now. We're happy together and we love each other. But every time I mention anything to do with moving on in our relationship, he backs away from it and tries to get away from the subject. I've mentioned wanting to get engaged and married one day. Not now, not in the immediate future if it isn't right, but sometime in the future if we're still together, which I hope we will be. But even so, he completely dismissed it, saying that he doesn't want to get married. I got over it and realised why he reacted like that. We'd been together for less than a year at that point, and any mention of long-term commitment to most teenage guys is gonna scare them, especially if they're with someone who they may still be deciding on, in terms of whether they're 'the one' or not. So I've waited for over a year to mention moving on to the next step.

The other day, my boyfriend asked me where I'm thinking about living and who with during my second year at uni. I'd been thinking about asking to move in with him for a while, so I thought it would be a good time to ask him about it. But, yet again, he went into defensive mode, saying he "isn't sure whether it's a good idea just yet" and that he's "worried he'd probably mess things up between us somehow". I just don't see the sense in it though. I love him, he loves me, and I'm sure that if there were any problems we could work them out. We'll have been together for over two years by the time the next year of uni starts; surely it's natural for relationships to move on...but he seems to want to fight against it, and it's hurting me.

Now I'm feeling paranoid, and I'm starting to wonder what I might have done, or not done, to make him feel that moving in together isn't something we could at least think about. Well, he said he'd "think about it", but I think he's hoping I'll give up or forget about it. I feel sure that it's the right time to consider it, I'm giving him all my heart, I have for the entirety of the past year and 7 months, and I don't know what more I can do. If I try to persuade him that spending a little more time together than we do now isn't going to "mess up" anything between us, I'll most likely just seem needy, and he'll most likely go on the defensive again. Then there's the option of taking the offensive and saying, like I want to right now, that if we're never going to take our relationship any further, then I don't see much point in it. Not that it wouldn't break my heart to say that to him...I just don't see how else I can make him really listen to me.

I love him so much, but sometimes I wish he would be more romantic, more willing to believe in a change in our lives together being wonderful for both of us, rather than worrying about what might - but most likely won't - go wrong. I'm so sure he's the one for me and I adore and trust him with all my heart and soul...what else can I do to let him know that I truly love him and never want to hurt him? I honestly don't have a clue...

oh sweetie.. life is weird. and love is weird.

all i can tell u, is that u shouldnt rush things.. if he's not even ready with talking about it, he needs the time to get to that point.
you're both so young - do u really need to go through that heart ache of getting engaged and then.. what if it doesn't work out? one of my friends thought they had found their one and true love, they got engaged and were planning the wedding when smth clicked and the broke up just like that. the pain in my friends eyes was tremendous and id never want u to go through smth like that.

also, id have to agree with ur boyfriend about the living together part - being together and living together are 2 completely different things. u need ur time, he needs his. enjoy being young and in love - you've got your whole life to play family

Hey so I don't know much about your individual situation but I thought I'd comment on the situation. I agree with mimi don't rush things he's probably just not ready to make such a big commitment so young. Give him time and don't push the subject because it could push him away. Living together is definitely a big step and when he's ready he'll let you know. But you can always drop hints. commenting on how nice it'd be to not have to always travel back and forth, etc.
My sister got married this past summer. Her husband and her had been together 10 years at this point and they didn't move in together until they were together for 3 years. So don't give up hope that things will go the way you want, just give him time

Awh, thanks for your opinions you two <3 Love really is weird. I feel so bad sometimes, I know I should accept his little faults because everyone has them and that's who he is, but he annoys me when he clams up and won't seem to tell me what he's really thinking.

I think what you're saying about the difference between being together and living together is what he's worried about. Sharing space and the commitment attached to it and all that. It's just, if it is that, why can't he tell me? It's not like I would refuse to accept it. I thought he would know that by now. Even if I threatened to leave him to try and get him to see my point, I could never bring myself to really do it. I almost wanted to argue with him when I first brought it up, but I couldn't. You see, this is why I'm so sure he's right for me. It still melts my heart when I see him smile, or look into his eyes. I couldn't possibly bring myself to shout at him.

I won't force him to talk about it again. In the end, I'm happy to be with him and I don't want to push him away by being too forward. And now I think about it, he's hiding what he really thinks - if he is at all - because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings...he's a sweet, sensitive soul (no matter how much he tries to hide it, I know it's true ) and I'm lucky that we're happy as we are for the time being ^^

aww i know how hard men can be lol my boyfriend is the ultimate example of shutting down - which is really hard for me, but if i push enough he will open up and in the end come to me himself.
we're in a difficult situation though because as im very ambitious and i know what i want from life.. he kinda just goes with the flow (which ive never been able to do.. maybe its the way i was brought up ..) & ive been accepted in a uni in london and im starting in september & we both know long distance relationships dont work. i mean london isnt far away, but after 2 and a half years of seeing each other almost every day, to seeing once a month is a big difference.. so basically, we told each other we'll break up once i go up to london. stay friends, but we wont take the chances from each other, in case we meet someone who we really like..