Saba's blog

Since I like to babble, why not start a blog. Soooo~

Inspiration Born from Fear


For as long as I could remember, I have been a very creative person. From my fashion, to my hobbies, to the art I draw -everything has it's strange twists and bends that identify pieces of my personality. I have gone through many 'dream career' changes, from wanting to be a veterinarian, to an artist, to a musician. And until last night (at about 5am actually), only one of those career options seemed far too out of reach.

When I was younger, I loved to sing. I did it all the time and made little tape recordings of my cousin and me singing popular pop tunes. I had loads of fun and even joined the elementary school chorus for a year and really enjoyed that too. That is, until one day my grandmother was forcing my friends and me to sing on the way home from the store. I wasn't feeling very much in the mood to sing, so I refused to. And, as if to force me further, my grandmother started saying things like 'If you don't sing, you're not my granddaughter anymore. You friend will be." Now, I know my grandmother was just teasing and trying to get me to sing, but at the age of ten or eleven, I didn't quite get that. Instead I felt that there I was, getting disowned for not using my voice. 'How could she!' I thought, and in stubborn resentment, I didn't sing for her. And haven't since.

Shortly after, my cousin and I were singing our little tunes like I stated before and I made the 'mistake' of complimenting my cousin on her voice. Well, my cousin is somewhat known for her ego trips and she was on cloud nine. Yet, when listening back on our recording, she laughed, turned to me, and blatantly said 'you can't sing!' Yes... thanks for the vote of confidence...

And though I was young and it may not seem like very much, these two instances were enough to make me seal my voice away. I didn't sing in front of anyone, and I seldom sang alone, even though I enjoy singing very much! I have just grown too afraid to do it. It's like stage fright without the stage. So, I've been using my second creative outlet -drawing- to establish a way to express myself.

But I love singing! And at 5am this morning, I've concluded that all that is holding me back is a stupid fear from my early years. A fear that isn't even founded on anything and with no true guarantee of failure. A fear of the unknown, of the 'what-ifs.' I would sit around, daydreaming about singing my heart out in a song, oblivious to the fact that if I spent half as much of my time doing something with my voice instead of daydream, I could have been singing my heart out long ago and still doing it today. "Be. Do. Have." is my code, yet I have not even exercised it on my most desired dream!

I strongly believe I am a creature of creation -that everything in your reality is there because you called it forth whether directly or unconsciously. If that's the case, I now choose to sing. I choose to develop my forgotten voice and make something wonderful with it to give to the world. I challenge this little fear of mine and from it, I will make something wonderful. Life is too short to doubt and live in fear -especially petty fears from childhood.

Tally-ho!

I like your outlook on life. 'Be. Do. Have.' It works out...
Anyway, you should not let such things pull you down. It doesn't matter what anyone says, it's what you say that goes. So just put out of your mind any hateful comments and only bring out the good.

just do what makes you happy.

I adore the fact that you can sing, hun. Just be the you when YOU want to be if you dont wanna sing i cant stop you. But that wouldnt stop me from wanting to see Sabare In neon lights somewhere. Before you say i dont wanna do something think about the what ifs and is it really something i want to give up. That advice is just for future times when you cant make up your mind. i hopw it helps.

Also i wanna thank you. you helped me realize that ive lost faith in my own life with your story. ill write a blog explaining after i finish this( lol i dont want to take over your blog).

Amazing first entry I'm sorry you gave up singing for such a long time, but i kinda understand the trauma you had, god people can ruin good things easily!
I'm so happy you feel comfortable with the idea now, it's all about progress and fulfilling your dreams now! I'm singer aswell so i know how it can make you feel at it's best, it's like giving away all your emotions and gaining them back even stronger <3

Lot of luck I hope you'll update us with your progress!

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I'm feeling even more fired up! ^^ Though, I definitely need some work and practice. But, I'm determined. I'm thinking of visiting the karaoke bar a few times as a sort of challenge for myself. But that'll be a bit later on ^^

I'm so sorry for this situatnion with your family. Don't give up. You must be a fighter... You must fight... Maybe you should record something and upload on YouTube...more people do it....

Good Luck, honey <3

I agree, full heartedly, hey i just picked up the bass. maybe well pass each other by in the world of music.

I've had similar experiences People have always told me I have no singing talent, but I enjoy making music so very much.

So I decided to make an album, and I'm pretty damn proud of it Just do what you love, make something youre proud of, and dont care what anyone says about it- unless its positive criticism, you can always take a little advice

i think a lot of moonchildren have had the same experience.. as have i. i always knew theatre is the place for me and even though my family always supported me, they thought it was just a hobby and that id grow out of it and become 'serious' etc. well.. i never did. and now ive been accepted to a university in London, to study more about theatre and everything that needs to be done to put a show on the stage.. and im super excited. i know its a risky thing to do but u know.. life without risks is a boring one. and if i fail once, ill try again. if i fail 10 times ill try once more and then maybe think of something else to do. we're on this planet ONCE. and people should realise that money isn't the most important thing..

i mean.. when you're old. would u rather think that 'hell yes i made millions' OR 'i did everything i wanted to'

Just keep being strong and believing in yourself! You have a passion and you love to sing! Then by all means sing to the roof tops and your hearts content. Don't let past things keep you from doing things you love in the future! You seem to be on the right track so keep singing! Also I see you are from Virginia! That's awesome I am too! I never knew there were any other moonchildren from here :-)