A Poetic Blog

7/7/10
Entry 1
Introduction

Hi all! I'm Poetic, or in real life, Jay. Before I start this blog, everyone should know a little bit about me. I have lived in Texas my whole life, but took trips to Minnesota at least twice a year to visit family. As I finished High School, I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. Minnesota had more opportunities for teaching, but also has some of the best acting departments in the country for schools. I figured I could teach English, and then direct the school plays or musicals since I'm a bold actress.

Some random facts about me:
I have many different sides to me and most are highly sensitive and emotional.
I hate saying thank you. If I'm thankful, I will look thankful, but the word "Thanks" sounds fake to me, so I hate thanking people for things that I like.
I wear out there clothes.
I love to write.
I swear to show extreme emotions, and I get extreme emotions a lot. (So that's a warning.)
I think that the feel of kissing the person you care about most is the best feeling in the world.
Other good feelings: Standing out, making an image, wind blowing through my hair, and holding hands.
And last,
I suck at introducing myself.

7/7/10 and 7/8/10
Entry 2
Typical Bad Day

So while I'm in Minnesota, I've been working on a musical at a community theater. I got this fun role that I was really happy to get and I was excited to make it my own. Nearly all of my friends from Texas said they would come all the way up to see me for this big twist on the classic role, Glinda from the Wizard of Oz. At callbacks, I made sure to show them my glimpse of the roll, and they seemed to like it. I made her quite ditsy, and I got lots of laughs.

Practice starts, everyone loved my lines at the readthrough. But the next day we started working on my stuff. The director apparently like my Glinda, and in stead had her OWN view of the character, also different from the original role. She has me act like a bitch. She's even TOLD me to act like one. But Glinda is supposed to be nice, and I can't stop being my personal role, or the stereotypical role. So the director and I haven't clicked real well.

So yesterday, the 7th, was when we did my scene again. She was pushing me harder and harder. I was telling myself that we didn't have the same views and needed to accept it but she just pushed and pushed until I was biting my lip holding back tears. She saw I was fighting, but just kept going, pushing harder and harder until my tears fell. Finally, we ended. Everyone was staring at me, so I tried to run out as quickly as possible.

Of course, it's never that simple.

The director followed me and I pretended not to see until she yelled, "Hey, Jay, wait a bit." So I did. She started out with "Theater is tough work, isn't it?" Almost sarcastic. That really got the tears going. I just covered by saying I was tired and hadn't slept. Which is true, but not the source of the tears. She soften up a bit. "Oh, that's never good. Well, I wanted to tell you you're doing a great job and I wouldn't be pushing you so hard if I didn't believe in you." So yes, the stereotypical response, which only makes me cry harder because those answers are rarely sincere. But then I looked at her. She was fighting tears, hard. And of course, the guilt makes me cry harder. I never meant to hurt her. She was just doing her job and me the overly sensitive person wasn't who she was used to working with. And now she's crying because of me.

But anyway, I'm sobbing like a baby and she decides to talk to my mom who was there because she had to do some set stuff earlier. "Can you... help Jay over the weekend." And my mom nods and tells the director how everything she says is right and says I'm just not used to being right.

Thanks Mom.

So the director again tells me how great I'm doing, and then everyone comes over to tell me I'm amazing. So I'm a baby. Or worse.

We finally leave and my mom tries to comfort me by saying that she never realized it before but the lines are kinda bitchy and I should just realize that. Which again makes me feel worse, so I remind her about all of my friends from Texas who were coming because they were excited to see ME play the role, and that with the director changing everything, I'm not really playing the role. And she says my friends would still like my performance no matter the role I perform. And I disagree. I've seen countless plays with all of them and if they would've seen this character, they'd all hate it.

Then my Mom told me that I'd be remembered if I do it like this. She said I might hate every second on stage but it would pay off. And I told her I'd rather be happy doing something I believe is right and be hated for it than to hate myself every second for betraying myself but being loved for it. And she didn't know what to say. So she said that over the weekend everyone in the family could act like bitches so I could surprise the director on Monday. Which sounded like a stupid idea, but I didn't want to rant to her about that when I already looked like I totally over-acted.

So I just sat in the car, still crying until we got home and I went to write this. She told me that if I was tired I shouldn't be on the computer. So I went to bed and continued it today.

So that's my story of a typical bad day, I know it seems like I over-acted, but it all built up until I just kinda burst. So... /endrant.

Entry 3
7/14/10
Living Nightmare

So I was just on the computer. My mom calls and tells me to wash the dishes for our cousin's family. As I walk upstairs, I notice I feel dark energy. Like an evil spirit behind me. I ignore it and keep walking. I'm putting away dishes when I pick up a sharp knife, and then the dark energy is gone. Poof. Then I hear something whisper "It wouldn't be to hard now." I quickly put the knife down and the dark feeling is back. I run to my room, where my Nintendo DS was charging. I figured I could play it and calm down a bit. So I'm walking to my room when I hear footsteps pass me. No one's there. When I get into my room, the DS is gone. I have no idea where it is. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it. It's gone. So I ran downstairs and prayed to God, Angels, and Faeries. The energy is starting to fade, but I'm still freaking out.

awww Poetic D: hang in their buddy.

I have nothing really to say but life can be tough if you want to achieve something, us moonchilden are here to stick by you.

That is so scary. I hope everything will be fine with you.

Aww, Poetic, I went through something similar just last night =/ I know how terrifying it is, but I always ask my fairy to protect me and she does help You're doing right by praying to the forces of good. Be safe and take care.

That's so scary, good luck, we're all wishing well to you

omg I hope you're ok

when I was little I used to feel something like that but usually I was home alone then so I thought it's just cuz I'm afraid and that's all

Thanks so much guys. It's so good to know I've got support from so many people.

I send you light and love

Entry 4
7/20/10
Survival

So my cousins took me to this Drum & Bugle Corp thing. It was marching bands that kinda overdid it. Like, fancy formations and dancing and flag twirling and all that crap. It was really cool except for the fact it got delayed after each team because there was storms. Eventually we had to crowd into the bathrooms (although my family found another place that was less gross and just as safe) for about an hour because of tornado warnings. Eventually the event was canceled. After we were allowed to go home, we found out we hadn't lost power: but we HAD lost internet. It said we were still connected, but we weren't. It drove me crazy because Kerli was talking about a Kyte chat soon, and I didn't want to miss it. It was okay though, I spent the time trying to strengthen my relationship with the angels, which has already shown millions of benefits. Eventually the internet came back. I survived 4 days with no internet.

So did I miss any Kerli news?

nope u haven't missed a thing
OOONLY.. 5 days left until the end of the competition!!!! ohhh i can't wait to tell u all what the prize is!!!!! i think u will love and hate me at the same time lol

Wasn't it an autograph from Kerli? Is there a twist? Oh! Tell us now! Please?

hahaa. its not JUST an autograph!!!! i wouldn't do that lol

annnndddd i cant tell u cuz then it wouldnt be a surprise..

Yes it would! We'd all be surprised NOW!

lol.. ok.. its something u can listen to!!!!

THE SONG WE WROTE! Or a new one from the album!

not saying a word

When will we find out? When the contest ends? Or when the winners are announced?

mimi your killing us here im dying to no

u'll find out when the winner is announced on the forum so stay in touch! couple of more days!

How long do you think we'll have to wait after the contest ends until we learn the winner?

give it like 4 days up to a week

Oh Mimi, I'm having random spaz moments because I'm far too excited for the surprise >-<

GAH! D:

Mimi! Can there please be more then one winner? Haha. How about like everyone who entered gets an autograph? I definitely don't think I'm close to winning but GAH, I need an autograph. But I'll test my luck at another one. *crosses fingers for a poetry competition*

everybody will get their chance. trust!
but u know.. im sending the prizes off my own money.. i gotta be reasonable.. ive told all my friends that i would send everybody a prize but i can't.

but TRUST ME. u will get ur chance !

I can wait, haha. I'm excired to see the different contests. I mean, if everyone gets a chance, it'll be great to see everyone show off their talents.

Oof, this suspense is killing me! >.< Hear that, Mimi? I'm going to DIE and it will be all your fault. Murderer

I'm looking forward to future competitions already! They're all going to be so eventful, we have a lot of super-talented people on this forum!

LOL yes im turning into a murderer from the love i have for u all lol

just received an email from kerli the winner should be announced tomorrow

Oh god, I'm twitchy right now XD Bustling with excitment and joy.

mimi wrote:LOL yes im turning into a murderer from the love i have for u all lol

just received an email from kerli the winner should be announced tomorrow

OHH-EMM-GEEEE! So excited!

Love you too really ^^

LOL well i hope u do
i know im saying like 'tomorrow, tomorrow' but she has said she will do smth (which i can't tell u about cuz its a part of the surprise) tomorrow so we'll find out the winner thursday - friday

and just to say. if u didn't win - dont be sad! there will be plenty of chances

Oh my gosh, SOOOOOO excited. Don't think I'll win, but I'll be SO proud of whoever did. They were ALL so wonderful!

Entry 5
8/2/2010
Writer's Block

So, I'm suffering from Writer's Block. It's an odd type though. Like, I can think of things, I just can't think of things for more than a couple lines. It's rather annoying. I have all these themes I wanna write poems about, but I can't think of more than one line for each theme. *sigh* Well, I'll just wait and see if I can think soon.

My creative mind works like that all the time, unfortunately. I just sit where it's quiet and think about the basic idea I have, and the rest of the poem or whatever seems to flow from that one idea. Have you tried doing that?

Yeah, that's what I usually do. But nothing ever comes to mind recently. Grr.

Entry 6
7/3/2010
Are You Kidding Me?

So I was working on a new poem today and yesterday. Yay! It was kind of weird. I didn't realize I was really writing it until I was almost done. So after I finished it, I went to hit post on another forum where I put all of my poems in and I had to re-login. So I login. And the poem didn't save. I had no other record of it. So it just went poof into thin air. And I can't remember it.

I was so proud of it too.

To make matters worse, one of my dogs came over to sit by me, and I didn't notice. He crawled under the chair I was sitting in (which has wheels) and just sat there. I started to move back but stopped when I saw he was there. He would've been perfectly fine except for the fact that we've figured out he has seizures caused by one of four things. A) Randomness. B) Not being able to breathe. C) Getting hit on the head hard or D) Being very nervous. Any one of those things could've been the cause of this seizure, but it's the second time he's had one this Summer while sitting under the chair, which leads me to believe it was one of the last three. He barely could fit under it, so when I went back it could have hit his head, or went right over his neck suffocating him, or just caused him to freak out. But whatever happened, he had an awful seizure. Not just shaking like normal. He flipped all over the place while his eyes watered and snot dripped from his mouth and he was drooling and it was awful. So after it ended minutes later, my mom called. Perfect timing. I was comforted, but then I saw Rosco, my dog, couldn't walk. He was so dizzy. He would stand and try to walk but fall over. He's finally better, but it was a bad experience.

And now this creepy bug is lying right next to where he had the seizure, dead. It's pure black, has a long black tail like a scorpion's, clear wings with black lines, long black antennas and six long black legs. My cousin says he sees them all time and tries to stay away from them in case they could be harmful. He's took pictures and no one knows what it is. So it's kinda freaking me out.

So, starting off to be a bad day. How's your day going?

Entry 7
7/5/2010
I LOVE YOU KERLI!

SOOOOOOOOOOO much! And Mimi. And everyone on this forum. You are all terrific awesome people.

Seeing the video Kerli did for this forum, I just started loving her even more. And that's like, near impossible. The way she's just so loving to her fans is just amazing.

And every single one of you deserves it.

I love you all.

I absolutely 100% agree. I felt the same, the fact that Kerli would make a video for us like that is wonderful. I've actually missed her, and that just goes to show that the love we fans have for her is really love, not only admiration, although we admire her for all she is and does too.

Much love to you too, Poetic ^^

♥ I.L.U. ♥

Oh, I know! This forum is soooo beautiful.

THIS IS TRUE!!! YOU'RE RIGHT

Entry 8
7/14/2010
Goodbye

From the dark, into the light.
Gooooooooodbye.
Goooooooooodbye.

Sorry, couldn't resist. Great song. Anyway, I'm leaving for a while, starting tomorrow. Chicago. We may or may not have Wi-fi. I'll try to get on, but no guarantees.

I'll miss you!

ill miss u more!

Haha. Thanks.

Entry 9
8/20/10
I'm BACK!

I misssssssed you soooooo much! But I had a great time! Lots of new stuff. I saw there was a Bulletproof Demo up. LOVE it!

And the new contest is great!

Anything else new?

Welcome back

Thanks.

aaa I'm happy that you back and I miss. Yes contest is amazing

Isn't it? I'm really excited to see the upcoming ones, because I'm SURE they'll keep getting better.