Death's Little Life

Most people don't understand death until they come face to face, or lose someone they love the most.Me on the otherhand, I have ALMOST come close..but I always see it flash before my eyes.
First: My father dieing from saving me from an on coming train.
Second: My mother dieng from cancer
Third: My two great-grandmothers (deceased for some time now) visiting me in my sleep. (Which I also woke up screaming to) I only have this ONE question.
Am I to be cursed? Must I see the people I love DIE? Will I continue to see the dead? All these questions that I must ask,but yet won't have answered. Only time will tell if I can have these three questions answered.And my final question: Will I learn who and what I really am before Life itself is over?
Only I can truly understand the way my life is. If only I could stop the pain.
-Integrity. Love. Unity.
Kitty