Mimi

KerliPoland wrote:
Mimi Happy Birthday!!!!!!
Have a awesome day and all life



(PS I write now because here in this moment is 08.01 )

I WANT THIS CAKE!

You're welcome mimi

haha in next your b-day I'll do for you this cake lol

okay! ill be looking forward to it!!!!!

hhahaha for sure

Aww I forgot ur birthday!!!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MIMI!!!

25th of january

so.. 2011 has started 'fantastic'. i wanted to know whats happened with you? it can be good or bad..
yesterday was absolutely terrible - i broke up with my boyfriend & i have noone here. literally, he was my only friend.
then the woman who i live with came home from work and said that she was accused of stealing a notebook from a clients home?! (later on it did get cleared but she went through the shock)
And just now i read about Liisu.

Im trying to stay strong but at times like this i feel how easy it is to push the 'self - destruction' button.

Mimi, I'm so sorry
I hope that you will be feel better soon.
I'm sorry that you have no one there...in this moment I want be with you, hug you, honey.
This women was so poor, sometimes people are awful. This is good that her situation is now better.

MIMI I BELIEVE IN YOU

Mimi, you're such a strong soul, such a nova moonchild and such a dear friend already!
Selle aasta algus on olnud ikka ilge kräpp küll, aga ükskõik kes või mis meie teele toikaid ette ei viskaks, me hüppame neist kaarega üle (veel paremini kui mingid profid kõrgushüppajad) ja hiljem tulevikus vaatame kõige selle peale kui "fuck yeah, we made it" ja nüüd oleme palju tugevamad ja targemad.
ole hästi tugev. you can do it

appikene kui armas sa oled! ja ma tunnen täpselt samat moodi - nii vähese ajaga oled nii kalliks saanud xx

Don't worry everything has a cycle this "down" phase will pass and then you get really happy again.

2011 has sucked for me and i don't mean to be a pessimist but I think 2011 is gonna to bring many trials and as a result suck for a lot of people because 2012 is coming. Like Kerli, i believe that 2012 is gonna bring a big change for everyone so this year has to suck in order for this amazing change to happen.

Much love I.L.U.

uggh! its just horrible to see that im not the only one having a shitty start. i wish at least somebody i know would have a good start on 2011!

u know, when the year changed i was so happy and relieved that i couldnt help but to cry. i thought it was gonna be an amazing year.. i mean, it can still be one, but i think i will always remember this year as it has had a VERY rocky start.

ps i saw u in my dreams couple of weeks ago! i wrote about it in the 'what did u see in your last dream' topic lol

ahhh Mimi, I love your new avatar
my first reaction was smiled

thank u i thought he needed some colours!

you're welcome
yes, these colors are an awesome
he looks so beautiful

2011 hasn't been the greatest for me either so far. But I am working hard to change that right now. Break ups are one of the hardest things in life to go through, but you know what they say; when God closes a door he opens a window Hope we all get some windows...

Haha Im really loving the hair! It's really beautiful!

awwww honey, only 39 new persons and will be 1,000 <3
Mimi, you building fantastic family!!!!!!

Awesome...congrats

I feel like such a little shit for not keeping my blog up to date! its awesome how many people went along with the idea of making a blog here but there's just SO much to read now haha

i wanna say sorry as well that i haven't been round much. just lately there has been so much to do and i keep wishing that the day would have 48 hours instead of 24

it has been about 12 weeks since i broke up with my boyfriend and only now im starting to let go. ive been talking to my friend (who is also his mother LOL) a lot and couple of things ive realised:

1) im not going to cry over him anymore because he's not worth it.
2) he will always be special to me. but him who he was 2 years ago, not who he is now.
3) he couldnt stand that i put my foot down. and that was probably one of the biggest reasons why we broke up - i didnt let him walk over me.
4) i told him today that since it was his idea to stay friends, he'd better start acting that way or in couple of weeks i will tell him to piss of with his so-called friendship.
5) fuck men (and no, i dont mean all u guys on the forum - i mean the guys who make you fall in love with them and then they break your heart and know that they've got you under their thumb and as long as you dont stand up for yourself everythings ok, but as soon as u do, they call you a grumpy bitch or smth)

ive got so many ideas i wanna make now! i wish the day was longer..
love u

<3 I love that stuff you just wrote. Actually made me feel a little stronger about my...um..."friend" and the whole situation.
Glad your feeling a bit better about it.
Anyways...I have to go to sleep...I just got over a really bad stomach flu and I'm exhausted.
<3 XOXO

mimi wrote:I feel like such a little shit for not keeping my blog up to date! its awesome how many people went along with the idea of making a blog here but there's just SO much to read now haha

i wanna say sorry as well that i haven't been round much. just lately there has been so much to do and i keep wishing that the day would have 48 hours instead of 24 Smile

Mimi, please don't feel it. You are so wonderful person and you shouln't feel it, please. We understand you that you don't have time for it. Don't worry, please so much. And don't say sorry Unfortunately day has only 24 hurs, but take care about yourself.

I'm sorry but I didn'y have a boyfriend and I don't want to never, and I don't know what you feel too much now. I'm so sorry. I had the same when I wrote to Tara.

You are so much strenght and you can win. You can do all what you want. You are so beautiful person and good and you deserve on all what is the best!!

I hope that will be better!!! Mimi must be better!!!!!!

haha Natt I am getting better! i am getting into 'love myself mode' and therefore i dont need anybody else to love me (even though i know there are people who do lol)

Tara - im glad girlpower! ive started to realise how strong i am and that basically - its his loss. when im finally over him he might think that he made a mistake but then it will be too damn late.

Anyway, im gonna have a nice day out with one of my best friends who is also my mum number 2 & later on we're gonna cook dinner, have a friend round and ill just enjoy being alive.

<3 <3

Mimi, I'm so happy for you. If I could hug you now, I would. I've been thinking about you, wondering how you've been getting on lately, so it's good to know that you're feeling better.

LOL, someone needs to knock some sense into that guy. If I were him, I would be trying damn hard to keep you in my life. But then again, I don't let pride get in the way of what's important, like he seems to be doing.

Don't cry any more, not over someone who isn't going to give you what you deserve. Have a fabulous day, and be happy <3

<3 Exactly what I keep trying to tell myself. It's not easy but I guess eventually it'll get through.
Go and have fun

i think there comes a point where u just can't cry anymore over someone/thing and i reached that point a week or more ago. i am just thinking of the times we had together. i know that we're never getting back together - i couldnt now because he's changed so much, i would be expecting the old him. but change is normal and i guess maybe he needed to change and needed me out of his life as a girlfriend.. dont know. but i do know that if he doesnt push his pride aside, like u mentioned liz, then he can go and be all macho and big chested somewhere else. i have no time for that.

Tara - it is the cheesiest saying of all but it is true, time heals. i think when i broke up with Ash i became the cheesiest person ever because i was trying to explain what i was feeling and there were no words for it. but i was being honest and i didnt really give a F whether someone thought i was being 'overly dramatic' or not. and it does get better.. but u also have to allow yourself to get over it. it is so hard, i know, but u will be thanking yourself if you allow to let him go.

^Yeah that sounds about right...there def are no words that could ever possibly explain it. I'm finally starting to let go now...although I think your a bit ahead of me in the race. At least there's no more crying. That was the worst part. Your right, time heals. Wish I could fast forward a little bit though
<3XOXO

yeah, its a real bitch!
im still not over him, no way, and i do get moments when i just want him to knock on the door and give me a hug but that is just one moment of my day, and i dont allow myself to think any more of it.
it would be like stabbing myself in the gut and who would do that to themselves?

today i did cleaned out some stuff - i did 2 lots of washing and sorted out most of my room + got rid of tons of things AND then helped my flatmate sort out her 2 massive wardrobes + 3 drawers. i am so tired but i feel like ive done something today bliss! haha tomorrow i need to go to the post office to post 6 packets - some stuff for my mum that wont fit in my suitcase and some for friends + some crafts things for kerli that i thought she might want to use. and in the evening im working out. i also want to read a bit of my book.. what more can u ask for?

1st question... Suicidal people and emos would stab themselves in the gut....


2nd question... Not much more, really.

its a figure of speech

Cleaning takes such a load off your shoulders. Who can focus on healing when there's mess and dirt around?

yeah its like cutting your hair after a very long while i think. because people say that ur hair stores everything (like if u take drugs, it stays in ur hairs dna etc). i remember when i had hair to my bum and lots of horrible things were happening at home, i went to the hairdressers and i said 'cut it'. i got it cut to my chin and i felt like something so heavy was lifted off me. it was brilliant!

Yeah that's true. I feel the same way when I cut my hair. Like, you can get a little trim even and you feel light as a feather.

I'm worry so much about you because you are offline

I send to you all my love

aww Natt! u dont have to worry about me.
ive been offline for a bit because i needed to have a break from computers etc. i spent a lot of time outside and working out and im feeling better now

xx

Computers can sick the life right out of you sometimes. I've been trying to keep busy too. It really helps the mood.

yeah thats what i felt like. it was just on my bedroom floor and when i usually turn it on in the mornings to check my emails i just couldnt get myself to do it. so i didnt. instead i did gardening and was having lunch with my friend almost every day.
im leaving the house in 20 minutes as well to pop into the bank and go to the gym to have a work out, then quickly go to the shops - get 2 praw salads and go to my friends house - i got him on the salad lol. AND later i gotta do make up on my other friend who is going out for dinner. we did a practise make up on saturday and it looked freaking gorgeous, she was staring herself in the mirror, thanking me, and saying how different she looks lol

oh yeah, i got 2 sets of moonmarks around my excisting tattoo - pictures soon

Oh sweet. I can't wait to see

I feel so numb.. so numb that it takes so much energy to type these letters. I didnt sleep last night, all i did was cry.. and i cant seem to stop.

yesterday started okay, i was going out, which i did and it was okay.. until tears started welling up. my ex boyfriend was there and he was commenting on women in front of me.. later on we walked home together and because i live with his mum he came in too.. on the way we stopped every now and then to talk and the things he told me.. they were so cruel and i cant stop repeating them in my head. i know for a fact that he's telling everybody what a bitch i am and how i sucked as a girlfriend.. it hurts so much because even though we had our ups and downs we had a lovely relationship.. and it feels like he's mocking it all. also yesterday when we got back, i left the kitchen where he and his mum were sitting, and i went to the front room so i could still hear everything they were talking.

and sure enough they started talking about me and him and all that - and i heard him say all these things that were not true, horrible things. and he told his mum that he cant be bothered with 'being my friend' & also that he's been seeing someone else for over a month now. a woman over 40 and he was saying about the sex - how amazing it is and he made some nasty comments like ' i never knew you could enjoy sex until i slept with her' etc.. and then he said who she was.. and i know her.. he made his mum promise not to tell me but what he didnt realise was that i already heard everything.

so when he was about to leave he came into the front room for something and saw me.. he looked shocked..

i told him 'goodbye' and he stood up and started saying that 'oh is this like i never want to see you again thing' to which i said.. that im making it easier on him because i heard him. and he kept saying 'i do want to be your friend. i do. but every time i see you i see this anger in your eyes'. and i replied 'if this is anger, what do you think rock bottom looks like'.

after that his mum came in and saw me crying and gave me a hug while he left the house..

i cant believe how much this hurts.. he's completely moved on and the way he's treating me makes me feel like he's never loved me and its making me doubt in every single thing..

and im still the idiot who is in love with him.

First and important thing is that you don't deserve to suffer from what he said.
His a jerk, a total asshat. Everyone have a sour side of them.
He is jealous, blinded by total anger. So he is trying to make you feel worthless. I'm sure his mum doesn't believe the things he said about you? I'm sure Karma will bite back, even harder. Try to ignore him and spent time being around people who cares for you.

I'm probably not making sense because I never been in that situation and it's late at night.

no his mum told me that she doesnt believe any of it.. but other people might.. and even though i shouldnt care what other people think but it still hurts knowing that they're all smiling to my face but behind my back think im a total bitch.

Damn it. My keyboard is broken and I typed out this huge reply and it took forever and now I see I musta clicked preview instead of send. Grrrrr.
ANYWAY...
One of my ex's did the same thing to me. It was actually one of the best relationships I ever had. We got along so well and he treated me like a princess...spoiled me rotten. Then one day our "group" all had this party and this little bitch showed up and she was such a skeet(Skeet being Newfie talk for someone who is a trouble maker, big mouth, rude, just bad news) and for some reason he was following her around the whole night and was ignoring me and the next day he still was not paying attention to me even though I did nothing wrong. I asked him what his problem was and he wouldn't talk to me so I said fine and I broke up with him. Then he starts going around to our friends making up all of this bullshit about me(Really personal things it was so embarrassing). I GUESS they didn't believe him cuz they came to me and told me all about it. Then all of a sudden he vanished from sight. He hasn't talked to any of us in years.
The stuff he said was so childish and horrible it made me feel like garbage. But I got over it and I don't think anyone believed it.
I think your ex is only saying these things because he is insecure and therefore has to try and make you look bad to make himself look better. I know it sucks and it hurts but you can get through it. Try to avoid him as much as possible. I know that's hard because you live w/ his mother but when he comes around, try leaving, going for a walk or something. Call a friend or another guy so he can see your moving on.
Don't let what he says put you down. Chances are that the people he said these things to don't really believe it and know he's being immature. If you remain(or look like) your unphased by it and he continues to run his mouth, you'll come out the better person in the end.
Hang in there. Your too good for him.

thank u
i actually spoke to my mum about it yesterday and i said that i wrote him a letter.. its about 5 pages long and i didnt think i just wrote whatever came into my mind - i dont think im gonna send it, i just needed to say things that ive kept bottled in. but anyway, i spoke to my mum and she just gringed when she heard all what he told me and she said that im too young to go through shit like this and my reply was 'he's made me stronger. and now i know im strong enough not to let a guy walk all over me.' and yes, i was an emotional wreck when i wrote the last blog entry and i was crying my eyes out and my entire face was swollen, i guess i needed that.. to understand that he's not the person who he was when i was with him.. and the person who he is now i want nothing to do with.

me and his mum are like best friends and nothing will change that. and ive told her that i never want to see him again and she's backing me up on that. so.. we did have a nice relationship - he put the mockers on it in the end but if he wants to live in a life of hatred and just be pathetic by calling me names.. fine. im better than that and im not going to fall to his level.

^ Mimi, stay strong. I'm so happy you're feeling better. I honestly didn't know what to say when you posted your last blog, so I kept you in my thoughts. Just thought I'd let you know that. You're never on your own, and anyone who believes the things he's saying about you, doesn't deserve a single thing from you. He doesn't deserve to even be near you either. Like TJ said, try to avoid him whenever you can.

In the end, he's just making you a supergirl, hun ^^ I'm sending you strength and so much love ♥

Mimi, I'm sorry that I write now...

He was so awful for you. It must was so cruel for you.
But I think that one day he will understand that lost so wise and beautiful person, you.
Mimi know you are higher than it. You have all life.
Maybe you should maka something what you like.

I send to you an millions hugs <3

You are the best and so strong person!!!

thank u sweeties
i guess everybody has their good and bad days.. and monday + tuesday i was feeling the lowest of the low.. and now im feeling empowered LOL

my life is just starting. and i do NOT want to spend any more energy on someone who doesnt have any positive input in my life.
im sure i will still have days when ill cry over him (the person who he was), but in the end of the day i will realise he doesn't deserve my tears.

and this applies to all of u - no man or woman deserves your tears. especially if they have told u how much they loved you and proposed twice and then suddenly take it all back and start shagging a woman/man twice their age. u can hear my bitterness lol
no, wait, its not me being bitter - its me letting go.

This is like the best thing ive ever read!
Your so right!

Yay:) So glad to read these words from you after that last post and see your strength has been built up again. You seemed to be doing so well before it and it made me sad to see you were so upset and here you seemed like you were doing better than I was w/ the whole "boy" situation...and yes I called them boys for a reason. Hehe.
I think the letter was a good idea. I have done it myself at times. It's easier to let it out and communicate your true feelings when you feel the urge and write it down.
I gotta tell you that in almost every relationship I've been in it's like they pretend to be someone they aren't so you'll like them then later they rear their ugly heads. It's sad that they just can't be who they are and that's it. Oh well, were beyond them now. Your right; no one deserves your tears.
Stay strong and remember...you know you'll see him at some point given your living arrangements so leave or go to another room. Out of sight, out of mind. Xoxoxoxoxo

"VINTAGE ME."
After reading Kerli's latest blog about herself when she was a teenager I wanted to show u what i looked like as well. I haven't grown up much as for my appearance though lol I still love unnatural hair colours and have a baby pink heart ring that i wear almost every day. my friend was saying one day that she was such a nerd & i said that hey, im 20 years old, my room is all pink, i sleep with a Barbie bedding, have a glowing Cleopatra figure on my bedside cupboard and get excited over resin lol
so, anyway, enjoy my trip though memory lane

some pictures make me laugh so much And unfortunately i dont have pictures of some of the hairdo's ive had.

















Show me what u looked like