T.J.'s Poems *Blushes*

Normally I am extremely shy about sharing things like my drawings and poems. I suppose because of the (Let's make up a word shall we) "personalness" involved. To me, having someone see something I've drawn or especially read a poem I've written is the equivalent of being naked in front of 1,000 people. It feels uncomfortable, exposed. BUT now I figure...life is too short to hide my soul away, so here are my poems.
These poems range from when I was about 14 up until recently and in no particular order. Some of them are just cute little things I wrote when I was younger, but most of them are extremely personal and express a lot of emotions, pin point significant times, people, etc throughout my life so far. I hope that you enjoy them and maybe you can relate to some
*Turns red* Here I go...

"& So It Begins"

And so it begins to take me over
The demon coursing through my veins
Who I am has been left behind
Not much left of me remains
There's no conscious in me, there's nothing left
My mind says destroy everything I see
You can't reach me, I'm no longer here
My eyes show nothing but the demon inside of me
For a while the evil has it's way
But retreats when it has reached it's goal
It can take my body and my mind
But it will never take my soul

"Cuz Of You"

I felt so sad, and terribly cold
I thought I'd be that way 'till I grew old
It was horrible, and I felt so much pain
Through my eyes there was always falling rain
There was no way the sun could break through
It was unbearably lonely, then I found you

You brightened my world with beautiful love
Then I was never below, but always above
The sun shone, the clouds went fast
The present was important, not the past
I see everything different, not just in blue
And all of this happiness, was because of you

"In A Moment"

In a moment everything can change
Your world becomes lonley
And life seems so strange
You feel as if you can't go on
The one you loved has up and gone
Love can rip the strength from your soul
You become weak and lose control
But don't give up; this isn't the end
As long as you have a loving friend
Friendship will save you and everything will change
Once more you are happy; Isn't life strange?

"Look Who's Crying Now"

For a moment we were perfect
There was only you and me
It was meant to be forever
But the truth I didn't see
You hurt me in more ways then one
Then left me to fend for myself
My heart was broken I just wanted your love
But then you gave it to someone else
The tables have turned and now I am strong
I don't need your love anymore
And now I wish years ago I had shown you the door
Try as you might you won't have me back
I have much better things to do
Look who's crying now; not me
I have long since outgrown you

"Someone Like You"

When your world has fallen apart
I'll be there to mend your broken heart
When your life is being filled with your worst fears
I'll be there to wipe away your tears
When you can't reach, let it be my name you call
I'll lift you up and never let you fall
These things I say will always be true
Because I am so happy to have someone like you

"Untitled"

I can't bring myself to even step on a bug
But I barley hesitated to step on you
It wasn't your fault, you didn't ask for this life
But now what is done I can't undo
I wish I could tell you how sorry I am
I wish that you could hear me cry
I didn't realize what I was doing
Now I feel like I deserve to die
I don't blame you if you hate me
It was a selfish thing that I did
If I could take it back I would in a second
But I was just a stupid kid

"The Fog Horn"

Over the years many things have changed
But one thing that has always remained the same
Is the low, haunting moan of the fog horn
Through the cool, gray mist on many nights and mornings
The noise that never fails to lull me into sleep
It has always been there like an old friend
Warning me to be aware of the danger that lies ahead

"One Wish"

I wish I never took for granted
All the times we had
Because now my heart is breaking
and it hurts so bad
If I could convince you of one thing
I wish that you could see
That I was made to be with you
And you were meant for me
If I was granted just one wish
And I knew it would come true
There's one thing in this world that I would wish for
And that one thing is you

"Maybe Next Lifetime"

I admit I used to hate everything that you would do
And I hated the person that you were
But now that I know you better I see the soul in you
I can see the suffering from the look in your eyes
A type of pain that I know all too well
I thought we were so different, but now I see the truth
And I want to take you from your private hell
But to do that would be to betray the trust and love
That someone very special has put into me
And even though nothing will be done
I still wish that you could see
It won't happen now or anytime soon
So I'll let it go for now
But maybe next life time we will connect
And only then will I show you how

"Tear Me To Pieces" (Not finished...but it will be when I get back in that mode again. For some reason I kinda always thought of this as a song in progress)

Go on,
Tear me to pieces
Bruise me through and through
I can but I won't stop you
Mind, body and soul; rip right through
I think I like the hurt, like you

Take my heart,
Reach in and rip it out
Now you know what I'm all about
See secret blackness inside, feel it pound
Punish me for what you've found

Grab me, shove me, throw me down
Pin me, restrain me, hand over my mouth
As I cry reach for your invisible crown
(Unfinished)

"Untitled" (This poem has nothing to do w/ my life...the words just popped into my head one day...why or how I really couldn't say, but it's pretty fucked...lol)

The coffin was to be lowered in the ground below
That's when she realized she had to let him go
She fell on her knees and began to cry
At that moment she wanted to die
The cold air filled with people's mourning cries
While tears of pain still hung in her eyes
She kissed his cold lips and walked away
She had to forget this horrible day
She never imagined it would happen to him
She remembered his laugh and his playful grin
She remembered the arms that held her so tight
And then screamed aloud that it wasn't right
She knew that nothing would ever be the same
So then she decided to end her pain
From the rack she took a large kitchen knife
And to be with him she ended her life

"As I Did For You"

Through the day and night
Through the tears that fall
I'll stand beside you
And guide you through it all
No one can shake me
I'll never let go
I'll love you forever
Through high times and low
But I hope you can see
That I need love too
And I hope you'll protect me
As I did for you

"Friends Forever"

Together forever you and me
Friends forever we will be
Always there for each other
Never abandoning one for another
Nothing will ever keep us apart
Because were true friends - straight from the heart
Your always there when I'm feeling blue
And I'm so lucky to have someone like you
Whatever happens to you or to me
Friends forever we'll always be

"School Library" (Just a silly thing I wrote in high school)
Sitting here all by myself
Layers of dust upon the shelf
Stupid people; annoying as hell
They're supposed to be quiet but they still yell
So many books that I'll never read
Oh do I ever wish I had some weed
Oh my stomach I gotta shit!
If the bell don't ring I'll have a fit
My energy is really low....
Oh good there's the bell! Gotta go!

"Perfectly Imperfect" (A lot of people I know actually took this one and put it on their FB profile LOL and one girl even wanted to ask my permission to get the words *Perfectly Imperfect* tattooed on her. I told her to go for it because it's about everyone when you think about it. I think I may make a tattoo out of it myself)

When you look into my eyes
Know that I'm perfect as I'll ever be
I'm beautiful inside and out
No games; what you get is what you see
I'm perfectly imperfect; so take me as I am
And know that all I'll ever be is just me

"The Same Path"

Just as my life was ending
when I thought my mind would never be the same
I found someone that could see through my eyes
And who could understand my pain
I feel so blessed to have a friend
Who could be so much like me
That can make me smile no matter how I feel
And make me happy even when I don't want to be
If I was ever given a choice
Even after all that I've been through
I'd pick the same path that I've already walked
Because this one led me to you

"What True Love Is"

I know that you think of me when I'm not around
I know just where your love can be found
You admitted it once then inside you it hid
It may have hurt more to know you did
And not being able to be with you
Than if you said you don't love me too
I've loved and lost and forgotten them all
But to this day you are making me fall
I tried my damnedest to make it go away
Now I'm starting to think that it's here to stay
I may live out my life and never be his
But at least I have learned what true love is

"Butterfly"

Fly little butterfly
Fly far away from here
I promise I'll be with you soon
So please don't shed a tear
Your precious time has come and past
Little life taken far too fast
Some day I'll be where you are
So fly now little one I won't be far

"Idle Hands" (Because of my anxiety & ocd, I am ALWAYS fidgeting. I wrote this while being anxious and fidgety in class, FOR the class...lol...we had to write a poem...I picked exactly what I was doing at the time)
My poor old pen I am constantly chewing
My body always has something it wants to be doing
Always fiddling, wiggling and messing around
My will to stay still can not be found
The ring in my tongue and my teeth never stop clicking
My legs and my feet, always bouncing or kicking
This mind of mind of mine is in a crazy tizzy
It's telling me to keep my idle hands busy

"Little Black Demon"

The little black demon in her brain
Overflowed her heart with pain
Through her eyes he did look
And while he did she sobbed and shook
She cried aloud and pulled her hair
Scratched her face and cursed the air
He filled her inside with rage and hate
Changing her and sealing her fate
The sweetness inside her was shot down in flames
Instead replaced by his evil games
Her reactions to life were to scream and cry
To hide in the dark and wish to die
Until one day when she took control
Stood up to him and reclaimed her soul
He wriggled and writhed and out he came
No more little black demon inside her brain

"Why"

Do you ever wonder why
As the tears creep down your face
Why this sadness consumes the human race
Anger, loneliness, sorrow, and pain
Could God be playing an evil game?
Our hearts are crushed
Our souls are dimmed
Our emotions become as unsteady as the wind
Life won't take you very far
Before you'll bear it's ugly scar
One will ask why, then another
Maybe were all just meant to suffer

That's it...I have one or two more around that aren't finished enough to post yet...hope I made you feel somethin

Thankyou for being brave and sharing!! Nothing to be embarrased about sweetie, they are beautiful <3 xxx

♥ Ty & your welcome. They mean a lot to me.

<3 xxx

Your poems are beautiful.!
Most of them resemble exactly how I felt and feel about so many major things that I've been dealing with within the last two years. It's almost like they explain alot about me

Thank you. I'm glad you can relate to them. It's a nice feeling.

Those are amazing! Ive never heard such great poetry as yours! Thank you for sharing those and letting me experience your talent! (: Would you mind if I sent "Cuz Of You", "The Same Path", "Someone Like You", and "Friends Forever" to my friend?