Torn

To those who are torn,
It turns out I am in the same boat as you. Recently, I moved from my little town in upstate NY to an even littler town in mid NM. I moved in with my father and my step-mother, whom I had met many a time before and had learned to love dearly.

Until I actually moved in with them.

But before I go any further in to this, there is a very good reason I left my school, my friends, and a majority of my family to move in with my father. A scholarship program. If I graduate a New Mexican high school with a 2.5 GPA, and live there for a year, then I can go to any state funded school, tuition paid.

Now, on to my step-mom. It turns out my step-mother is threatened by my presence, and hence she maintains an authoritarian management of my life, actions and thoughts. How does she do this, by keeping my father pussy whipped.

Cute, I know.

Literally, she has lied directly to both my face and my fathers to pit us against each other, then goes and tells my father I'M the one who lied, and should be punished. That I am a compulsive liar, and need to be treated as such. So I am now not kept in the loop of what they talk about, or what they think, because then i will try to 'manipulate' both of them. To do what, I have no clue, but I sure should be feared. -____-

So, after having been in that hell hole for 6 months, I finally came back to upstate NY to all of my friends, family, and good memories. I stayed for 17 days, including the new year and Christmas. I got lots of gift cards, and lots of candy.

The real gift was seeing all of my friends. <3

So, now, my vacation is up, and I am left with a dilemma. To stay here in the NY where it is fun, safe, and a good environment, but with little to no academic future. Or, move to NM with only 1 friend, no family other than my father, and a poor home environment, btu with a right academic future.

My head says NM, my heart says NY.

So, I ask for your advice and opinions. To follow a definite, or a maybe. And, how many of you would drop everything as I had to jump on this opportunity, or was I just being hopeful that this would be a good idea? I like input guys, and I would love yours!

Thank you so much for even caring enough to read

FIN

go with your heart. i was always the one who always goes where my brain tells me to go until i left home because my heart told me to. it was SO hard and it still is but i am happy i did it.

I'd do as Mimi says, listen to what your heart says and not what you're head offers. I've been in that situations before and i'm glad I chose the decision I did. I would've been unhappy and more than likely, made things worse for myself in the long-run.

life is hard but you must thing about your future. I hope that you choose the best

You have to do what's best for you and what makes you happy!!

First of all don't get upset, take this situations as an experience, i think you should decide for yourself what is more important? what makes you excited and motivate you to live a full life? there's no sense to live where you feel cold and lonely, cuz i guess you, making this decision, try to stay happy , so..

im personally always for what heart says, i believe it never makes mistakes

Well, it turns out my decision was made for me. I went to my mother, who I was staying with over mid december early January, and told her I wanted to stay with her. Because that was where all my friends were, my memories, and everything important to me.

She flat out told me no.

She believes that this scholarship is too important for me to pass up, and that if I chose to stay home, I would have to find someone to live with. Because it wouldn't be with her. She, "Made so many mistakes. And I don't want you to make them, no matter what your heart says."

But, on a side note!

My grandmother came here from Russia wayyy back in the day. And, it turns out, when she was living in the U.S.S.R, she lived right where Kerli did, in what is now known as Estonia! My day was kind of made. Justt sayin'.

:-)

Is your grandmother russian?