cg360's Submission

^^ "The length of the title for this topic must be ranging between 10 and 255 characters" ^^

Hi everyone!, I read Mimi's post about the competition and thought I'd put my songwriting to good use. I wrote this song, entitled "MoonChild (Alive)", on 26 Aug, but I have finally gotten the courage to post it. This is a major step for me, in my opinion. I'm very proud of myself for finally gathering up this courage. I understand that it's supposed to be along the lines of a potion, but I couldn't force it. Songwriting is what I feel I'm somewhat good at, and I thought that I'd just do this, for fun. The song is about all three Moonmarks but, I'd like to think, focuses on Integrity the most out of the three Moonmarks; it focuses on how we need to thrive from a humble personality and environment. I imagine it as a harder, more guitar-driven song than I'm used to writing. It's definitely a risk for me, but - as I wrote before - this is a major step for me, and I'm very pleased with myself for summoning the courage to post. I'm confused about whether the cover letter or the actual submission is supposed to be within 200-300 words; I'll wait to send in the cover letter and/or further edit the song until I know for sure. Be honest with me on how I've done! I need honest feedback in order to get better So, *excited sigh* here it is:

"MoonChild (Alive)"

VERSE 1
Integrity, love and unity/ The three components of a new me/ The new generation followed me into the depths of the unseen/ They followed me, but I delayed to believe

PRE-CHORUS
Love is in my heart/ Unity, my mind/ Integrity, keep it coarsing through these veins, all the time/ Through my body/ You keep me alive
CHORUS
You keep me alive/ Alive/ You keep me alive

VERSE 2
Down to earth/ Your soul and mine, we are connected/ Humans who can feel/ Humans who breathe/ The basic components/ The puzzle to the machine/ Built from scratch/ But predestined to make our own destinies

(repeat pre-chorus and chorus)

BRIDGE
Blood roars through my head/ Am I alive or dead (Am I dead?)/ (Don't wanna be) Waking up with dread/ Yes, it fills my head/ I need you here with me/ We'll shelter in the unseen/ I need you here with me, tonight/ To keep me alive

(repeat chorus) Will you keep me alive?

cg360, this song is awfully, awesome! The only complaint I would raise up is the hesitancy that makes this song so good. It reminds me of the adage, "think before you speak," and that meditation resonates loudly as you check your blood for poison! It reveals not only your own wonderfully developed mind, but also your concern for others to see that in themselves.

Your posts tell me you might be "too" familiar with the phrase, "the fool is known as he opens his mouth." You are no fool! Don't be scared into dimming that mouthpiece!

PROUDLIKECOW wrote:cg360, this song is awfully, awesome! The only complaint I would raise up is the hesitancy that makes this song so good. It reminds me of the adage, "think before you speak," and that meditation resonates loudly as you check your blood for poison! It reveals not only your own wonderfully developed mind, but also your concern for others to see that in themselves. Your posts tell me you might be "too" familiar with the phrase, "the fool is known as he opens his mouth." You are no fool! Don't be scared into dimming that mouthpiece!

You scared me there at first! Thank you! I'll try to drown out the nervousness next time and just post something I feel comfortable with, without the hesitancy!! By the way, I realize that the mind is a large, expansive place filled with thoughts of all kinds (control it!) and that I live in my own little world at times and, perhaps, we all do; but I definitely accessed that strange place for creative needs on this one!! My songs have gotten somewhat darker since I initally starting writing songs in the autumn of 2006. This song is, somewhat, a testament to how far I've come since then

im not good with long giant post but this was awsome !!!

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote: im not good with long giant post but this was awsome !!!

lol Thank you

your welcom good luck

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote:your welcom good luck

Thank you! Good to luck to you, too

Goodluck..very nice

butterflycry2010 wrote:Goodluck..very nice

Thanks! Good luck to you, too

Just sent in my cover letter! (298/300 words, I think! ) And thanks again, everyone, for the feedback!!

goodluck

beautiful_inside09 wrote:cool

Thanks!

yw.wish you a lucky charm!

beautiful_inside09 wrote:yw.wish you a lucky charm!

Haha, thanks!!

Awesome C! Good work (:

woah! this could be like a real song! i bet it would sound awesome(r) with a tune and guitar and stuff!

TheBlueJayStar wrote:woah! this could be like a real song! i bet it would sound awesome(r) with a tune and guitar and stuff!

DITTO!!!

yeah...mabey if its really good kerli could sing it :3 that would be cool...

YetiMoonchild wrote:Awesome C! Good work (:

Thanks!!

Iridescent_Revival_<3 wrote:

TheBlueJayStar wrote:woah! this could be like a real song! i bet it would sound awesome(r) with a tune and guitar and stuff!

DITTO!!!

That was what I was going for

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote:yeah...mabey if its really good kerli could sing it :3 that would be cool...

OMG! My dream!!

that was great!!
good luck!

pixiedust19 wrote:that was great!! good luck!

Thanks so much!!

^^ that would eb cool if she did .....hmmm....eee!!! i cant wait for the results good luck!! *shakes hand* x3

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote:^^ that would eb cool if she did .....hmmm....eee!!! i cant wait for the results good luck!! *shakes hand* x3

*shakes hand back*

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote:

lol

kittens

Loveisalwaysthere! wrote:kittens

Really? I thought I would a get the words "tacos" or "pudding" thrown around at me on here! *pauses* Mmm... Tacos...

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is wonderful, your idea is awesome!!!!!
What was your inspiration?
Good Luck!!!

KerliKoivPoland wrote:WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! This is wonderful, your idea is awesome!!!!! What was your inspiration? Good Luck!!!

Thank you! Inspiration is all around me As I just posted on your submission thread, we all need to let our hearts do the writing

You're right!!!!

KerliKoivPoland wrote:You're right!!!!

Let the ideas flow