Table of Love
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my journey.

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my journey. Empty my journey.

Post by electric_rhino Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:39 pm

I started this poem like 3 days ago, and this is what I got so far, I finished it, but this is the part I'm sure I'm gonna keep, i am still modifying the rest; this is a poem of my past year or so, this poem is full of transitions, I start in the park, then i go to the seas, then I go to the dessert, back to the park, then the snow and a little twist at the end, it's like a story/poem. What do you think so far?

and now we ended up here,
our bodies are close, but our minds are navigating,
through an ocean we were not suppose to discover,
drifting through the lies and words like rocks,
drifting through the words that remain unspoken and secrets that will never be told.

it was my fault,
the steering wheel ended up being something I couldn't handle,
and instead of helping, you fell into the bottom for a place that felt warmer,
I was fighting against the rain, I was yelling at the sail,
my hands were numb, and my wind went on dessert road.
. . .


Last edited by electric_rhino on Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:12 pm; edited 2 times in total
electric_rhino
electric_rhino

Posts : 281
Join date : 2010-07-03
Age : 32

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Post by Natt Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:09 pm

very good poem. I see it on my mind. Very interesting composition and style
Natt
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Location : Poland

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my journey. Empty Re: my journey.

Post by electric_rhino Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:34 am

I'll take this ticking bomb for a stroll,
I can keep pretending but still grows and grows.
our conversation became just tick-tick-tock
and our eyes can only catch a blurry vision of both.

we needed more space, so the desert became our place,
''I was scared to even come closer because this bomb wouldn't stop it's growth.
and you were on the opposite corner, because you knew I'd stick to our oath.
forever goes with together, your love belongs to my heart,
and everything means nothing when we are this far apart''


Last edited by electric_rhino on Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Natt Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:41 am

I like your new poem
Natt
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